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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26375179">I Missed You For Twenty-Nine Years</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallyloo/pseuds/lallyloo'>lallyloo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rhett &amp; Link</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Never Met, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dreaming, Happy Ending, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:53:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26375179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallyloo/pseuds/lallyloo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhett dreams of a man he's never met. He's dreamed this way his entire life. And lately the dreams have been constant.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Lyrics are from "Slow Show" by The National</p><p>Rhett is in his early thirties in this. No beta. All mistakes are mine.</p><p>TW: there's a mention of Rhett getting a "whooping" in the first chapter. It's mild, but some people might want to know before they read it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>You know I dreamed about you</i><br/>
<i>For twenty-nine years before I saw you</i><br/>
<i>You know I dreamed about you</i><br/>
<i>I missed you for twenty-nine years</i>
  </p>
</div>Rhett dreams.<p>Not like most people. Not regular dreams – like the ones where you’re writing an exam for a class you never went to, or you’re naked in public, or you’re falling. He’s had those dreams over the years, of course, but they don’t stay with him. They don’t become ingrained in him like they’re a part of him.</p>
<p>Rhett’s dreams are different. More involved. More detailed. Ongoing. Like they’re pieces of some puzzle he’s been putting together over the course of his entire life while his brain feeds him pieces one by one as he sleeps.</p>
<p>He dreams about someone he knows but has never met. And he always feels stupid when he says that to people because inevitably they always end up saying “obviously you can’t meet strangers from your dreams.” Or “dreams are imaginary. The people in your dreams are just a combination of people you might know in real life, or someone you saw on tv, or on the street. They’re not real. You can’t meet them.”</p>
<p>And Rhett knows this. Obviously he knows it.</p>
<p>But some small part of him doesn’t believe it.</p>
<p>Because this person, <i>this man</i>, feels like someone real. Like he’s someone Rhett has known his whole life, and the fact that they’ve only hung out in his dreams doesn’t really matter. It’s never made their friendship feel less real. And as he’s grown older it’s only become <i>more</i> real to him.</p>
<p>Rhett has dreamed about this man for decades, possibly his entire life. As far back as his dreaming memories go – the man has been there.</p>
<p>He was just a boy at first. When Rhett was a kid the guy was a kid too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>They’re on the swings at school and Rhett’s legs are pumping him higher and higher as he swings back and forth. The boy is next to him, trying to pump his shorter legs just as hard, attempting to match Rhett’s speed.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You’re too fast!” the smaller boy is shouting, but he doesn’t seem upset because he’s laughing, and Rhett is laughing too as his swing goes higher and he swears his feet are going to touch the clouds.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The sun is shining so brightly on them that Rhett has to squint every time he swings up towards the sky and he’s calling to the boy to pump his feet faster.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You can do it! Kick the clouds with me! You’re almost there!”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He’s sure they’re about to do it, about to reach the sky together, when a bell rings in the distance to signal recess has ended. The dark haired boy stops pumping his legs and then launches himself off the swing, through the air, somehow landing on two feet in the grass.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rhett had always wanted a best friend and for a long time he assumed his mind had simply made one for him. It was comforting – someone to tell his jokes to, and someone to laugh with. They played games in his dreams and acted out silly stories. He kept the boy company when he was afraid of the dark and and the boy soothed him after whoopings from his dad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>”Does it hurt when you get a whoopin’?”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>In the dream Rhett can’t remember what he was whooped for, but the look of concern on the boy’s face tells him it was something serious.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Nah.” Rhett says and he tries to look brave. He doesn’t want the boy to know how much it hurts.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’d prolly be scared about it.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You’d be brave” Rhett says, “I know you would.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Hope I never have to.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The boy looks sad and it makes Rhett sad too.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You won’t. You never do nothin’ wrong.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The boy smiles at him and holds Rhett’s hand. It somehow makes the ache go away.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Rhett hit puberty and entered his awkward teen years the boy wasn’t far behind him, growing taller, showing the first signs of facial hair and a growing body. They talked about more serious things like music and girls and kissing. The conversations didn’t always correlate with Rhett’s reality – sometimes the details were different, or the guy mentioned names that Rhett didn’t recognise – but Rhett always put that down to the nature of dreams because the feeling he got from their conversations was always the same: friendship, comfort, amusement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>They’re on bikes. The sun is beaming down, burning their skin.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The boy zips past him, cutting in front so they ride single file while a car passes. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Rhett watches the wind whip through his dark hair as they ride. He has a backpack on his back, but Rhett knows they’re not going somewhere to study. They’re going to the river.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I have a plan!” The boy’s voice calls to him as they ride.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Rhett’s usually the one with the plans so he’s happy to follow along this time, to see what they’re going to get up to. He’s sure it involves the backpack.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The boy felt like a brother, but more than that. He felt like a part of Rhett. Like he was someone who just <i>got him</i> and didn’t judge the silly shit that came out of Rhett’s mind or mouth. He was going through the same things as Rhett. He had similar thoughts and fears and questions. They were growing up together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>“You practice kissing on a shower wall??”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Shut up, dude! Where else would I do it?” The dark-haired teen is laughing but his cheeks are turning a bright crimson.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“On your hand!”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The other boy looks at the palm of his hand and then looks up at Rhett.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Like this?” He asks as he brings his palm up and smacks his lips on it, twisting his hand in an exaggerated kissing motion.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Rhett laughs, “no, man, like this” and he brings his fisted hand up to his face and kisses the little hole his fingers have created between his index finger and thumb.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The other teen mimics the action, kissing the side of his fist, gently at first, and Rhett watches as his mouth opens and a pink tongue slips out and slides into the hole, like he’s French kissing his own hand.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Even in the dream Rhett can feel his own cheeks start to burn.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Rhett grew older, the guy grew with him. It was barely noticeable at first, as the changes between late teens and young adulthood often are, but before Rhett realised it they were both grown. The guy was now an adult too and to Rhett’s surprise he started wearing glasses. Rhett put that down to some unknown worry within himself manifesting in glasses on the guy – maybe a fear of ageing or losing his sight.</p>
<p>He never knows where they are in his dreams. The places don’t reflect his conscious reality. But he’s grown to know each place and he recognises them, almost like a city he’s built within his own mind. If they’re outside he knows the places they’ll go, how to get there, and how long it will take them. If they’re indoors it’s never a place he’s been in reality but in the dream it’s always familiar to him, like it’s home. Like it’s a place he’s been a hundred times. And maybe he has. Maybe he’s visited this dream world so often he’s subconsciously mapped it out in his brain.</p>
<p>When Rhett was just a kid the dreams were comforting. They didn’t happen all the time but when they did they made him happy. When he was a teen the dreams were fun. Rhett had a buddy to commiserate with and ask questions to. As his hormones raged he knew there was at least one other person out there who was experiencing the same confusion and fuckery he was, whether that person was real or not.</p>
<p>But as he grew up, Rhett started to become haunted by these dreams.</p>
<p>His life is fairly normal. Good job, nice apartment, great group of friends. He’s dated people –  girls mostly but also guys because he thought maybe he should try, like maybe that’s what his brain was telling him. But none of those relationships fulfilled him completely and it didn’t stop him from dreaming. The small number of long-term relationships he’s had eventually ended because they all inevitably grew tired of his obsession with this imaginary guy. Rhett talks in his sleep sometimes, which leads to questions. Sometimes he wakes in a sweat, calling someone’s name, a name his mouth and brain have both forgotten by the time he fully wakes.</p>
<p>People have asked about his relationship with this dream guy. Is it friendship? It is love?</p>
<p>And Rhett never has an answer. He can’t describe it in a way that fully encapsulates what it is and how it makes him feel.</p>
<p>And he’s tried. Sometimes when an ex is crying and wondering <i>"why"</i> and <i>"why not me?"</i> he tries so hard to explain it. It’s like an intense feeling of love – more than he’s felt for anyone in any of his relationships. Like the best friend he’s ever had in his life, like family, but more than that. Like he <i>knows</i> this person and they know him – almost like they’re a part of him. It’s never comforting to the person on the outside. It’s hard to hear that your boyfriend loves an imaginary person more than you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>Rhett’s only been surfing in his dreams.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He’s on the board, rising quickly from his knees, catching a wave and managing to stay upright for a moment before losing his footing and tipping over into the water.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He hears a voice shout “yeah dude!” as his head goes under.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>When Rhett surfaces he looks over to see his best friend smiling at him from his own board, waiting to catch the next big wave. So Rhett takes his own turn to watch, ready to cheer him on.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The guy is shorter than Rhett, and he’s lithe, and he seems to move so easily on the board. He stands quickly, trying so hard to catch the wave, his arms outstretched to maintain his balance. But he’s losing it. His knees wobble. His arms flinch inwards and then out, his hands flailing. Then his board tips and he bails, shooting Rhett a smile and the flash of a peace sign as he falls sideways into the water.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Rhett got older, he began to realise that <i>no, most people don’t dream this way</i>, and he started to wonder why he did. Who was the guy? What did it all mean?</p>
<p>Sometimes he wonders if it’s a split personality and the guy is actually just a part of him, something his brain manifests in sleep to live out some sort of life he can’t figure out. He's tried everything: sleep studies, dream analysis, therapy, even hypnosis. He’s explored the idea of reincarnation, because maybe it’s all a past life. But in his dreams he’s not someone else or from another time – he’s <i>himself</i> and the dreams have always seemed to line up with the years in his own lived reality.</p>
<p>And in all of this, the one detail that has come to haunt Rhett the most is the fact that he doesn’t know the man’s name.</p>
<p>When he was young he never asked. It didn’t seem to matter that he didn’t know the little boy’s name. It was just his dream friend, his best friend in the world, and names weren’t important. When he was a teen it didn’t even occur to him that he didn’t know the other teen’s name. It always felt like he <i>did</i> know it and it was just tucked away somewhere deep in his mind.</p>
<p>But as he’s aged and the dreams have become more frequent, and he’s become more fixated on this man, the idea that Rhett doesn’t know his name has started to eat away at him. Sometimes when he wakes he swears the name is there, like it’s sitting just at the tip of his tongue and if he can just <i>remember</i>, or slip back into the dream, or think a little harder it’ll come to him. </p>
<p>At a friend’s suggestion, he’s even started exploring lucid dreaming. The idea that Rhett might be able to gain some control over his dreams sounds appealing, so he’s been practising whenever the dreams come to him. Initially it seemed almost impossible, but after a few attempts Rhett started to get the hang of it. It helps that the dreams are so frequent now that Rhett expects them when he goes to sleep – he knows they’re coming – and when he’s face-to-face with the guy he tries to gain control of the situation and steer the conversation the way he wants it to go.</p>
<p>But the dream always ends when Rhett asks who the guy is, and says he wants to know his name. The man usually just smiles at him. Sometimes he gets farther away, like he’s fading. The first few times Rhett tried it he woke up in a sweat, calling out “tell me your name!” into the darkness of the room.</p>
<p>After countless attempts he’s starting to think he should give up because lately their conversations are almost impossible to decipher, as if he’s trying to hear them above static. Rhett isn’t sure if it’s something he’s caused through the lucid dreaming or if this is just the latest manifestation of these dreams. Maybe this is how they go now. Maybe the conversations in childhood and his teenage years were easier to retain upon waking. Maybe things are more complex now and therefore harder to hold onto. Or maybe they’ve just run out of things to say to each other. Maybe his life is so mundane he’s got nothing left to talk about with this guy.</p>
<p>But he’s sure that isn’t it either. Because, despite the static, the current dreams feel more real than they’ve ever felt. And as a result, the current state of his dreams just leaves Rhett more frustrated as he struggles to understand and hold onto whatever bits and pieces he gets from this man. On the nights he dreams, which is almost every night now, it throws him for a good long while after.</p>
<p>He can’t shake the feeling that something is missing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: this chapter contains a lot of talk about sanity and panic attacks. If that's something that might upset you please take that into consideration before reading.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Rhett is sitting on a couch. It’s not a place he’s familiar with, not even in this dream world. But he’s comfortable with his socked feet up on a coffee table in front of him, one crossed over the other.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The man walks through a door, smiling, saying something that Rhett doesn’t understand. He tosses a book in Rhett’s lap as he walks by. Rhett looks down to read the title but it’s just a bunch of capital letters crammed together. Completely nonsensical. Indecipherable.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rhett opens his mouth to speak, to ask what the book is about, but a garbled mishmash of sound comes out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The man isn’t facing him and he doesn’t respond to the sound – doesn’t even indicate he heard it – so Rhett tries again, louder this time. He asks again and again until he’s shouting and even in his sleep he’s sure he can hear his own voice echoing off his bedroom walls.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Tell me!” he shouts but the sound that comes out doesn’t make sense.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The guy doesn’t turn around.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>The dreams have been worse lately, filled with static and confusion and when Rhett tries to speak to the man it’s like he’s screaming underwater. When Rhett wakes his ears are ringing and his head is pounding. Some mornings he has to call his boss to say he’ll have to work remotely because of a migraine. He doesn’t mention the root cause. He’s stopped telling people about the dreams. He doesn’t want to admit he might be losing his fucking mind.</p><p>He’s tried to ease up on the lucid dreaming, thinking that it might help. Maybe if he stops trying to force it everything will go back to normal. Whatever normal might be.</p><p>But sometimes he can’t help himself. Sometimes he needs to call out and just shout until the guy replies – but he never does. This doesn’t help Rhett either. It just leaves him hoarse in the morning and that’s a whole other thing he has to explain.</p><p>So he’s stopped seeing people. Cultivating and maintaining friendships seems like too much work at the moment, and Rhett doesn’t have the energy to lie when people ask how he’s doing. He’s always been very self-reliant anyway, preferring to deal with his issues on his own, and he figures if he can just make it to the other side of whatever this is maybe things will be okay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>They’re camping. Rhett can see the tent in his peripheral vision. There’s an SUV nearby and a couple of coolers which Rhett assumes are full of food and supplies.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>They’re sitting around a campfire, and Rhett knows he lit it although he doesn’t remember doing it. He’s got a stick with a marshmallow on the end and he’s dipping it into the fire, trying to toast it without letting it burn.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The man sits across from him, holding a beer and and smiling at Rhett over the fire. Rhett reaches into the bag of marshmallows and tries to offer one, his voice coming out in a garbled sound. The guy shakes his head and keeps smiling. His mouth moves as if he’s trying to tell Rhett something but the noise that comes out is just static, like someone is trying to tune an old am/fm radio.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rhett tries to ask “what did you say?” but the words that escape him are nothing more than warbled nonsense.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The wind blows cool around them, hitting the fire, catching the smoke and blowing it up into Rhett’s face. He closes his eyes to the sting and waits for the wind to move away and take the smoke with it. When the stinging sensation subsides he opens his eyes and finds the chair across from him is now empty.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rhett jerks his head around, searching, certain he’ll see the guy retrieving a drink from the cooler or stepping foot into the tent. But he’s not there.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rhett calls out, the words sounding like a distorted cry.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He rises quickly from his chair, stumbling, trying not to fall into the fire, and looks around. The SUV still sits there. The tent is empty.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The man is gone. And Rhett is alone.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>This is new.</p><p>The guy’s never disappeared before. Sure, maybe when they were kids and they’d play hide and seek, but Rhett would always be able to find him – under a bed, or behind a door, or under a pile of blankets. This is different. He’s never just been <i>gone</i>.</p><p>Rhett shifts in his bed, easing his head from the pillow to test how much pain he might be in today. It’s a lot. His head feels like a giant weight straining the muscles of his neck and shoulders. It’s as if someone pumped his head full of fluid and then clamped a vice down on it. His ears are ringing too and Rhett squeezes his eyes shut, as if doing so will somehow force the sound from his head.</p><p>He’s glad it’s a Saturday – no need to call in sick or come up with another explanation for why he feels completely useless. He can lie in bed until the pain eases and then maybe he’ll be able to eat something.</p><p>The room is dim. The curtains are still tightly closed – it’s something he started doing when the dreams got bad. He used to enjoy seeing the sunlight stream in during the early morning hours, but now it’s excruciating when the sun hits his vision too soon after waking.</p><p>Rhett lies in the darkness, his eyes still closed, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He tries to ignore the nagging feeling of worry over the man disappearing. It’s never happened before. Where did he go? <i>Will he come back?</i> Could Rhett go back to sleep right now and find him? The more he tries not to worry the more intense his worrying becomes. Despite how confusing the dreams are now, and despite how awful Rhett feels when he wakes up, he’d be devastated if the guy was gone forever.</p><p>Rhett tries not to think about it.</p><p>He forces himself to get up, sitting on the edge of his bed and reaching for the tylenol that’s become a bedside staple. He swallows two pills and chugs a bunch of water, letting everything settle in his stomach for a moment. Then he rises and heads to the bathroom for a quick piss before attempting breakfast. Maybe some tea will help.</p><p>After a couple hours his headache eases and by early afternoon he feels mostly normal and is able to take a shower. By late afternoon he even feels well enough to leave his apartment to run some errands. He doesn’t need to get much. Some groceries. Maybe another bottle of tylenol. This is his life now apparently – holed up in his apartment, venturing out only for work and sustenance.</p><p>He runs his fingers through his hair and checks himself out in the mirror. He looks surprisingly presentable. Clean. Well-adjusted. He brushes his teeth and throws on some shoes, shoving his wallet in his back pocket as he heads out the apartment door.</p><p>As he’s putting the key into the lock, the elevator dings down the hall and Rhett vaguely notes that someone steps off. He’s usually friendly with his neighbors – or polite, at least – but lately he’s been happy not to run into people in the hallway. Elevators are even worse, he hates being trapped in an enclosed space with people and feeling like he has to make small talk. So Rhett often takes the stairwell now. It’s right next to his apartment anyway, so it’s easy. Like it was put there just for this reason.</p><p>He turns the key in the lock and gives the door a rattle to be sure it’s locked tight. And he’s just about to enter the stairwell, to escape, when he turns to look at the person heading towards him. He’s not sure why. He never looks now. He just avoids.</p><p>Rhett’s breath catches in his throat. Dark hair. Glasses. It’s the guy, he’s sure of it. He’s in Rhett’s hallway and he’s heading Rhett’s way.</p><p>It’s a dream. It must be.</p><p>He hadn’t realized he’d been dreaming. He isn’t ready for this. With lucid dreams he always prepares himself first. When he goes to sleep he always knows that he’s going to see the guy. He knows he’ll need to talk – he’s prepared to speak and shout and scream.</p><p>This is different. Rhett’s body is frozen. He’s sure his face is locked in an expression of shock and terror. He can only stare, his brain yelling at him to speak while his body screams at him to run. Towards the man or away? He’s not entirely sure. </p><p>But the man stops at another door and slips a key in the lock. He looks over at Rhett and smiles, raising a hand to wave, and his voice says “hey neighbor.”</p><p>There’s no static. No garbled sounds. Just a voice and a smile.</p><p>Rhett wants to open his mouth to speak but he can’t. He puts his palm against the door in an attempt to steady himself and swallows hard to keep from retching. This isn’t right. This isn’t how it goes.</p><p>He manages a brief nod and turns back to his door, fumbles with his key, trying to get it unlocked so he can get back inside. Somehow he manages to get into his apartment. He slams the door and leans against it, willing himself to stay on his feet. The door is solid and cold. It feels real.</p><p>Goosebumps spread over Rhett’s skin, prickling down his spine, and despite the shiver it sends over him he can feel himself breaking out into a sweat. His breathing is too fast, like short little bursts. He’s sure he’s having a panic attack. He’s never had one before but he’s certain this must be what it’s like.</p><p>Somehow he makes it to the bathroom, kneels next to the toilet, and retches. Nothing comes up, but for several minutes his body continues its painful dry heaving.</p><p>When he’s certain the heaving has stopped he stumbles to his bedroom and lies on the bed. He’s not sure how long he’s there. Minutes? Hours? His stomach is twisting itself into a ball and Rhett is still so sure he must be dreaming. Maybe this is the next step. The guy disappeared from their dream world and now the dreams are incorporating places from Rhett’s actual life. It’s going to make it much harder to differentiate between dreams and reality now. </p><p>Maybe he really is losing it.</p><p>He considers calling someone, but phones rarely work in dreams, and if this is real who would he even call? And what would he say? <i>”I saw the imaginary guy from my dreams and I’m fucking losing it”</i>?</p><p>Rhett glances around the room, looking for any sign that this isn’t reality. It all looks normal. Same walls, same windows, same curtains. His clothes from yesterday are still thrown over a chair. His bedside table is the same. None of the items seems strange or out of place. </p><p>He stares down at himself. His body looks and feels solid, warm, real. He sits up quickly, examining his hands. He flexes and stretches out his fingers, turning his palms inward to examine every line and crease.</p><p>Then he folds his right hand into a fist and punches himself in the arm. It hurts but nothing happens. He grabs hold of his skin, pinching his forearm as hard as he can, trying to use the pain to wake himself up. Still nothing.</p><p>Everything looks so real. It all feels so real.</p><p>Rhett takes a deep breath and smacks himself across the face. Then he does it again. <i>Hard.</i></p><p>Nothing.</p><p>If it’s a dream, Rhett’s not waking up.</p><p>He lets himself lie back down, hoping rest will calm his nerves.</p><p>After a long while his mind starts to attempt to make sense of things.</p><p>He’s awake.</p><p>It wasn’t a dream and the room he’s in is very real.</p><p>The person in the hallway was just that – <i>a person</i>.</p><p>It wasn’t the guy from his dreams because that would be impossible.</p><p>Clearly the dreams have been messing with him and making him imagine things that aren’t real. The guy in the hall had dark hair and glasses and Rhett’s mind turned that into the man he’s been dreaming about for years. It’s embarrassing and eventually he should probably go over and apologise and introduce himself properly, but that’s a task for another day. For now he needs to rest and get his mind straightened out.</p><p>Rhett has no idea what time it is when he finally drifts off. It doesn’t matter. He just needs to sleep.</p><p>For the first time in months he does not dream.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Rhett wakes he’s gentle with himself, raising a hand to his forehead, testing. He’s waiting for the pain to hit. He knows how it goes: confusion, frustration, aching, not being able to move without pain. Rhett’s hand reaches out for the bottle of tylenol on the bedside table, ready to pop it open and swallow a couple without water. He does that sometimes too out of sheer desperation before he’s even sat up or opened his eyes.</p><p>He waits, pill bottle clutched in his fist, but when the pain doesn’t come Rhett eases an eye open and peeks at the room. It’s dim, but the bright sunlight threatening to blast through the closed curtains lets him know it’s morning.</p><p>The usual fog of confusion isn’t present but it still takes a minute for Rhett to remember falling asleep the night before. He cringes when he recalls the interaction with the stranger in the hallway. Someone new must’ve moved in without Rhett realising – an apparent downside to avoiding people and living so close to the stairwell. He’s pretty sure he made a terrible first impression. Not that it matters. He doesn’t interact with his neighbors anymore anyway.</p><p>When he jogs his memory he remembers panicking and retching. He remembers punching himself. He remembers eventually coming down from panic and disorientation and somehow falling asleep. It suddenly occurs to him that he didn’t dream. Or if he did he has no recollection of it. His head isn’t aching. His thoughts aren’t spinning. He’s pretty sure he could stand up without feeling like he’s dying and it seems like a completely new sensation.</p><p>It’s amazing how quickly you grow accustomed to things. Rhett is so used to waking up in agony that he can’t remember what it’s like to wake up without pain and turmoil rolling around in his skull. It’s been so long since he’s felt normal he hardly recognises the feeling.</p><p>He sits up on the edge of the bed, testing, and he’s shocked at how well he feels. He sets the tylenol bottle back on the bedside table, carefully placing it in the usual spot because he’s sure he’ll need it the following morning and he doesn’t want to be groping for it in a stupor.</p><p>Despite feeling fine, he still spends the day moving carefully throughout the apartment as if he’s expecting each movement to be painful. He’s not used to feeling okay.</p><p>He tries not to think about the man from his dreams. Rhett knows he disappeared, but maybe this is just the next step. After three decades he’s not just going to be gone. Not forever. Rhett’s sure he’ll see him again. They’ll be surfing. Maybe driving. Maybe he’ll be back at the campfire and the guy will reappear with some simple explanation for where he’d been.</p><p>Rhett almost wants to take a nap, just to see if he shows up, but the threat of post-sleep agony is enough to keep him awake until well after midnight.</p><p> </p><p>The next day is Monday and once again Rhett wakes without pain. He’s mostly glad for it because he’ll be able to go to work like a regular employee who isn’t haunted by their fucking dreams, but a small part of him almost wishes he’d dreamed and woke with his head in a vice. At least he might have seen the man – just to know he’s okay.</p><p>Rhett gives his head a shake. He’s worried about a fictional person. </p><p>But the word rings hollow to him. The guy isn’t fictional. He’s been real for Rhett’s entire life, it doesn’t matter that they’ve only been together in his dreams.</p><p>The following days continue in the same vein. No dreams. No pain. For the most part, Rhett is able to live his life like a normal person: waking, rising, eating, going to work. When he’s at work he’s able to focus, and when he comes home he’s able to do whatever the hell he wants without worrying about how much sleep he’ll need that night or spending time preparing himself for a night of lucid dreaming.</p><p>There’s still a nagging worry within him about where the man went, but he tries to remind himself that there was a time when he didn’t see the guy every night. Sometimes he went weeks without seeing him. But he’d always come back. They’d always be together. It was something Rhett could count on.</p><p>His mind doesn’t travel to the neighbor in the hallway. Rhett doesn’t thinks of him at all really. His appearance in the hallway was confusing but completely irrelevant. He could’ve been anyone.</p><p>But Rhett’s eyes do travel to the door every time he’s leaving or entering his apartment. He can still picture the guy standing there, waving hello. What a mindfuck that was. Just a hallucination, Rhett continues to tell himself.</p><p>And yet, the door seems to call to him when he’s in the hallway. It’s not an audible sound. It’s as if it’s something at the back of Rhett’s mind: first a low hum, then a buzz, and eventually a whisper. A voice. Like it’s haunting him. Like it’s telling him to look. Like it’s calling to him to go over and knock.</p><p>Rhett thought he’d been doing well without the dreams, but this is something new entirely.</p><p> </p><p>He manages to ignore it for awhile. He’s good at blocking things out.</p><p>But the sound remains. Calling to him every time he leaves his apartment. Go. Look. Knock.</p><p>Finally one evening he can’t stand it anymore and he walks over there in anger. He’ll knock on the door and prove to himself it’s nothing. Maybe the sound will go away. Maybe the voice will stop calling to him.</p><p>He knocks without thinking. He just wants to get it over with.</p><p>When he hears the click of the lock on the inside of the door he’s already prepared to speak. He’s got his polite apology ready. A quick handshake and he’ll be back in his apartment in no time.</p><p>The door swings open and time slows to a crawl, as if everything is moving in slow motion.</p><p>Dark hair. Glasses. And blue eyes. Rhett’s never seen eyes so blue.</p><p>That’s not true. He’s seen them before, countless times. He knows those eyes. He knows each eyelash.</p><p>The man smiles at him and Rhett knows that smile too. He knows those teeth and that mouth and he knows the way those lips come up into a perfect little bow.</p><p>Feelings of amazement and dread wash over him at the same time. He feels as if he’s seeing a ghost. This can’t be real. He can’t be looking into the face of the guy from his dreams, so close Rhett could reach out and touch him. </p><p>But here he is. He’s living. He’s breathing. And he’s looking at Rhett with amused confusion.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>His voice is clear. Rhett’s throat is suddenly dry but he manages to force out a “hi” in response.</p><p>“Can I help you?”</p><p>Rhett forces himself to speak. It’s stumbling and awkward but he manages it. “I– uh– I just wanted to say hello. I think we– last week we met– sort of met, you know, in the hallway.”</p><p>The man nods at him with a smirk. “I remember. You seemed in a hurry.”</p><p>Rhett fumbles for an excuse, not wanting to explain the real reason he disappeared so quickly. “I was– uh– sick that day,” he says, and it feels partly like the truth. “I’m sorry if I came off rude.”</p><p>“You were fine actually,” the man laughs, “I’ve met some other people in this building who were much ruder. But I appreciate the apology.”</p><p>Rhett wants to keep staring at him. He wants to study him and learn every inch of him, even though he feels like he knows every part of him already.</p><p>But Rhett also feels like he can’t look directly at him for too long. It’s too much. He’s looking at this best friend. The man he’s grown up with and confided in. The guy he’s given up relationships for because they just couldn’t compete with <i>this person</i>. And the guy doesn’t even seem to know who Rhett is. Something twists in Rhett’s chest, like an ache deep within.</p><p>He manages to reach out a hand and say, “I’m Rhett.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Rhett.”</p><p>The guy shakes Rhett’s hand and a buzz thrums between them, like an electric current that fades as it moves up Rhett's arm. He’s not sure how the other guy can’t feel it.</p><p>The man hasn't offered his name yet and Rhett is scared to ask – terrified it’ll pull them out of whatever this is – but he opens his mouth and lets himself say, “what’s your name?”</p><p>His voice isn’t distorted, he’s not underwater. The words sound clear.</p><p>“My name’s Link.”</p><p><i>Of course.</i> It’s so familiar Rhett is suddenly sure he’s heard it a million times before. </p><p>“Link,” Rhett repeats, and he’s immediately overcome as the name echoes in his head – his own voice at varying ages, saying ‘Link’ a thousand times over. It’s like a flash but it seems to echo on forever.</p><p>Rhett teeters for a moment, raising a hand to his forehead and closing his eyes.</p><p>Link reaches for his arm, as if to steady him. “Hey man, you alright?”</p><p>“Just a migraine,” Rhett says. He hates lying but there’s no way he can tell Link the truth at this point.</p><p>He wants to stand there forever, not letting Link out of his sight. A small part of him fears that if he goes back to his apartment this Link will disappear too.</p><p>But Link makes the decision for them, as he gestures behind himself and says, “I really have to get back, I was in the middle of cooking.”</p><p>“Sure,” Rhett replies, “okay.”</p><p>“Great to meet you.”</p><p>Rhett is desperate to not let Link close the door, even though he knows he has to.</p><p>“Wait,” he says, “can we exchange numbers?”</p><p>Link doesn’t respond, but he seems to be considering it.</p><p>“You know, just a neighborly thing,” Rhett continues, “any questions you can just ask. I’ve lived here for awhile so I can help with– whatever.”</p><p>“Sure, yeah,” Link nods, “that would be great.”</p><p>He seems to pause for a second and then he gestures for Rhett to step inside. “Come in and I’ll get my phone.”</p><p>Rhett steps inside the door and waits as Link retrieves his phone. When he does he shoves it into Rhett’s hand and says “add your number to my contacts, I have to check my food before it burns,” and then he rushes off to another room.</p><p>Rhett stands at the door and fumbles with Link’s phone, his fingers shaking as he clicks on new contact and types in his name and number. He could go through the phone and get Link's number, or just text himself from Link's phone, but Rhett feels like he should ask permission so he stands there awkwardly until Link returns.</p><p>“Can I get your number too?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Link says, and he dictates his number while Rhett types it into his phone.</p><p>They stand there, looking at each other, and Rhett knows he should leave. He knows he’s intruding and Link needs to get back to whatever he’s cooking but he also wants to stay. He wants to talk.</p><p>He wants to say ‘hey man, I have the craziest story. I’ve been dreaming and I get the worst headaches. You disappeared. Where did you go? What’s new? We haven’t talked for ages because you sound like fucking static all the time. Tell me everything. I’ve missed you so much.’</p><p>But he knows that would be fucking crazy. So he says a polite goodbye and somehow ends up back in his apartment.</p><p>When he closes the door behind himself he realises his heart is racing. Has it been racing this whole time?</p><p>He takes a seat in the closest chair and stares at his phone. <i>Link</i>. There’s a number too. If he called it would someone answer? Phones don’t work in dreams. But he’s fairly certain he’s not dreaming. He stares at the name on his screen.</p><p>His name is Link.</p><p><i>Link, Link, Link.</i> The name echoes in Rhett’s head.</p><p>He’s not sure how long he’s been sitting when the phone buzzes in his hand, startling him, and a message appears.</p><p>
  <i>Sorry I kicked you out so quick. Thought I was going to burn my food.</i>
</p><p>Rhett stares at the words on the screen. Words don’t make sense in dreams, but these ones do.</p><p>His hands are still shaking when he types a reply.</p><p>
  <i>It’s all good. Hope it didn’t burn.</i>
</p><p>He waits. A few seconds later another text appears.</p><p>
  <i>Nope!</i>
</p><p>Before Rhett can type anything else another message pops up.</p><p>
  <i>Thanks again for coming by</i>
</p><p>Rhett stares at the screen. He wants to type <i>can I come back?</i> or <i>you want to come over here?</i> or <i>I really miss talking to you</i> but he resists the urge and makes himself type</p><p>
  <i>No problem. I’m down the hall if you need anything</i>
</p><p>It seems polite enough while also leaving things open for Link to text again.</p><p>One last reply comes back.</p><p>
  <i>Thanks</i>
</p><p>Rhett forces himself to not reply.</p><p> </p><p>He stares at the texts for a long time, waiting for them to blur into something else or disappear entirely. But they don’t. The stay there on the screen. Permanent. Real.</p><p>He’s not sure what he does with the rest of his evening, but somehow he ends up in bed and he falls asleep while looking at his phone. </p><p>He does not dream.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a Saturday. It’s been five days since he spoke to Link. Rhett knows this because he keeps rereading Link’s texts. He’s memorized the date. He’s memorized the time. It’s all burned into his brain.</p><p>He continues to wake without pain, and he goes to work, and he comes home. He’s still not doing much else other than that. But he’s started taking the elevator again – partly because he hopes he might cross paths with Link, and partly because it gives him an excuse to walk by Link’s door. The door doesn’t call to him anymore, that stopped once he knew who was on the other side of it. Rhett refrains from walking up to the door and knocking again, even though he really wants to make sure Link is still in there. Just to make sure he still exists.</p><p>He stares at his phone a lot. He looks at the name and the number and the text messages that are still there, and he spends a lot of time telling himself he’s not crazy.</p><p>But maybe he is. Would he know if he was?</p><p> </p><p>So when Link finally texts again Rhett can only stare at the words. He expects them to blur or to be confusing. But the words don’t do anything special.</p><p>It’s just a text.</p><p>
  <i>Hey do you have the number for the superintendent?</i>
</p><p>Another text follows almost immediately</p><p>
  <i>Kitchen sink is leaking</i>
</p><p>Rhett stands quickly and heads to his own kitchen, yanking open a drawer full of junk to find the business card with the super’s name and number. He types it out quickly and hits send and then waits for a reply.</p><p>
  <i>Thanks man</i>
</p><p>Rhett considers for a moment and then texts again.</p><p>
  <i>I have tools if you need any.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Thanks I’ll let you know</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Ok</i>
</p><p>He attempts to busy himself around his apartment. He checks his phone every so often, just to see if the words remain, and to see if any other texts have appeared. Maybe he missed one. Maybe he didn’t hear the little ding sound.</p><p>Half an hour goes by before Link texts again.</p><p>
  <i>Do you know how to fix a sink?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I could try. You want some help?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>If you don’t mind. Super can’t get anyone in for a couple days</i><br/>
<i>But if you’re busy don’t worry about it.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Not busy at all. Should I come down now<br/>
?</i>
</p><p>Rhett’s rushing to the bathroom as he hits send, and he starts brushing his teeth while he waits for Link’s reply.</p><p>
  <i>Yes pls</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Be right over.</i>
</p><p>Rhett locates his toolbox on the top shelf in his hall closet. He can feel his heart racing. He’s excited to see Link again. Just to look at him would be enough, to know he’s still there. He’s not missing. He’s still breathing. He’s alive.</p><p>Rhett rushes out the door, locking it behind him, and in seconds he’s knocking at Link’s door.</p><p>After a moment Link is opening it and saying “hey, come to the kitchen.”</p><p>Link glances back at him as they walk. “No shoes?”</p><p>Rhett looks down at his socked feet. He hadn’t even thought to put his shoes on when he was leaving his apartment.</p><p>“Uh, I figured I didn’t need to when you’re just down the hall?”</p><p>“Yeah, man, it’s cool.” Link gestures to his own socks. “Make yourself at home.”</p><p>They walk into the kitchen and the place is spotless aside from the floor in front of the sink which is covered in bottles of cleaning supplies and dish soap, rags, a dish rack, and other various things which had previously been stored under the sink. The cupboard is wide open and it’s clear a leak has been soaking into the particleboard inside, causing it to swell and buckle.  There are a few towels spread out on the floor to catch water.</p><p>Rhett gestures to the inside of the cupboard, “you want me to take a look?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Link sighs, “if you don’t mind. I’ve been trying to figure it out but I can’t even see where the water’s coming from. ”</p><p>Rhett gets down onto the floor, and slides into the cupboard area, lying on his back so he can look up at the underside of the sink. “Not a lotta space in here,” he grunts, and it takes a bit of shifting around for him to get situated properly.</p><p>Rhett can see that Link has already shut off the water, so he checks the drain pipe first.</p><p>“The water that was leaking,” he calls out from under the sink, “was it gross?”</p><p>“Not really,” Link’s voice replies, “it looked pretty clear.”</p><p>Rhett moves his focus to the faucet pipes, reaching up to check the compression nuts. It’s an odd angle and he has to strain a bit to reach them, but he manages to get his faucet wrench in there and tightens up them. He shifts his position a bit and turns the water valve back on.</p><p>“Okay,” he calls out again, “can you test the faucet?”</p><p>Link appears from somewhere out of view, stepping over him, and a second later Rhett can hear the sound of water above him. He waits awhile, searching for any leaks, and doesn’t see any water dripping.</p><p>“I think you’re good for now,” he calls, and the water turns off.</p><p>Link’s face appears suddenly, peeking into the cupboard, his eyebrows raised. “Did you fix it?”</p><p>“I think so,” Rhett says, and he waits for Link to step back before he slides out. “I’m not sure how long it’ll last though so they should still get someone in to fix it properly and replace the particleboard.”</p><p>“Yeah, they said maybe Tuesday.”</p><p>Rhett sits on the floor for a second, and Link is hovering around him, watching. It’s the first chance Rhett’s had to really look at him. He’s in his sock feet, and joggers, and what looks to be a well-worn shirt. His hair is a bit mussed up. He looks beautiful and it takes Rhett’s breath away a little.</p><p>“Listen,” Link is saying, “I really appreciate it. Can you stay for coffee or something?”</p><p>“Yes,” Rhett replies, jumping at any opportunity to stay. “Yeah, I mean, sure.”</p><p>Link grins down at him. “Great, I’ll put on a pot.”</p><p>Rhett stands and brushes himself off a bit while Link busies himself measuring out coffee grounds.</p><p>He hasn’t had coffee in months. It makes him jittery. And he thought switching to tea might help with the dreams, but it didn’t. Now Link is offering coffee and a chance to stay, so Rhett is taking it.</p><p>His shirt is damp on the back from lying under the sink, and he’d like to go back to his apartment and change but he’s worried if he leaves he somehow won’t be able to get back. That’s what happens in dreams.</p><p>He knows it’s not a dream. <i>He knows that.</i></p><p>But it might be.</p><p>Link makes small talk about the weather and the building, and Rhett can’t seem to do much more than stare at him. He’s only partly registering the things Link is saying. He’s too focused on his eyes and his face and his mouth moving as he speaks. Rhett is still amazed that he can hear his voice, that they can talk to each other again.</p><p>He soon realises Link has stopped talking and is looking at him.</p><p>“Rhett?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I was asking how long you’ve lived here?”</p><p>“Oh, I–” Rhett stammers, “not long, well, I guess awhile. Three years.”</p><p>“Ahh, so you really can tell me all the ins and outs of this place.”</p><p>Rhett smiles. “Any questions you got, just ask.”</p><p>They talk for another minute or two, and then Link is sending Rhett out to the living room so he can tidy up the mess below the sink.</p><p>“I want to get all this stuff put back so it’s outta the way.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“You go sit. I’ll bring the coffee out when it’s ready.”</p><p> </p><p>Rhett sits on the couch and looks around Link’s place. It still looks newly moved-in and there’s not really much to look at, just some random things that don’t really reveal much about Link’s life. There are a couple boxes in the corner that appear to be unopened.</p><p>“Still unpacking,” Link calls to him, as if he’d been reading Rhett’s mind. “It’ll look more lived-in eventually.”</p><p>“It’s all good,” Rhett calls back, “I understand.”</p><p>He can hear Link moving around the kitchen, and the clink of coffee mugs, and soon Link is coming around the corner, approaching the couch with two cups of coffee in hand.</p><p>Link stands above Rhett, almost offering him the cup in his left hand, but Link seems to hesitate and looks down into the cup.</p><p>“I, uh, sorry,” he glances from the cup to Rhett, “I didn’t even ask what you wanted in it. I just–  I assumed. I don’t know why.</p><p>Rhett shrugs. “That’s alright.”</p><p>“No,” Link says, shaking his head. “I can redo it for you.”</p><p>“It’s okay, what’s in it?”</p><p>Link frowns. “Cream.”</p><p>“That’s what I take.” Rhett reaches to take the cup from Link. “So it works.”</p><p>Link gestures to his own coffee cup, “you sure you don’t want cream and sugar?”</p><p>“Nope, just cream.”</p><p>“Oh,” Link smiles. “Well good.”</p><p>Link takes a seat on the couch, folding one leg under himself in a way that would make Rhett look ridiculous if he tried it, but Link looks perfectly content and comfortable. Rhett is focused on the way Link’s fingers hold his coffee cup, curled around it so gently. Link isn’t a small man, he’s tall and Rhett knows he’s strong, but there’s a delicate quality to him and every move and gesture seems graceful. Rhett knows this, he’s seen it for years, but it’s somehow different seeing it in reality. He feels overwhelmed by it.</p><p>Link gets animated about something and the lilt of his voice is so familiar. So comforting. An ache resonates from somewhere deep in Rhett’s chest, and he realises how much he’s been missing Link’s voice. Just being able to talk to him and listen to him speak.</p><p>Suddenly Link’s looking at him again and Rhett realises he’s missed another question.</p><p>“Sorry, what?”</p><p>Link gives him a look of amusement. It feels very familiar. </p><p>“You in your own world?”</p><p>Rhett laughs. “No, sorry, just distracted for a second. What were you saying?”</p><p>Rhett needs to pull himself together. He’s been talking to Link his entire life and he’s never had this problem. And now he actually has Link with him, he’s in Link’s apartment, and he’s wasting his time getting lost in his own head. This is everything he’s ever wanted. <i>‘Almost’</i> his brain says to him and he pushes the thought away. Despite feeling like he knows everything about Link, he doesn’t actually know anything about this real life person. Rhett wants to ask him out, or just ask him to move in with him and beg him to never leave, but that’s fucking crazy.</p><p>So Rhett gives his head a shake and does his best to talk without allowing his thoughts to interrupt their time together, because maybe this is it. Maybe they won’t hang out again after this. Maybe Link won’t want to.</p><p> </p><p>When Rhett finally lets himself just be, everything suddenly becomes so easy. They talk like they’ve always talked, like they’ve known each other forever. Rhett can predict some of Link’s reactions to the things Rhett tells him, and Link laughs at most of his stupid jokes. There’s no awkward lull. No grasping for topics to discuss. They just talk and talk and talk.</p><p>It feels like Link hasn’t been gone. It feels like it’s always felt – safe and comfortable and fun.</p><p>The only difference is Link doesn’t know him. He keeps asking questions about things it seems he should already know, and every time Rhett has to answer it throws him out of the moment a little, almost like he’s annoyed that Link doesn’t remember. <i>But why would he remember?</i> Rhett knows he’s being unfair and he tries to tell his brain to shut up.</p><p>He learns things about Link too. He grew up a few towns over and Rhett can’t believe he’s been so close for all these years. Rhett’s actually been to the town once or twice, and he’s pretty sure there’s no river there. But maybe his memory is faulty. When there’s a break in the conversation, Rhett finally asks if there’s a river and Link says no.</p><p>That’s the first sign that things aren’t right. So many of his dreams of Link are centered around the river.</p><p>“You ever been surfing?”</p><p>“No,” Link tilts his head a little, seemingly amused by the random question. “Have you?”</p><p>Rhett shakes his head. “Nope.”</p><p>Link’s still looking at him, smirking, as if he’s waiting for more.</p><p>“Just tryin’ to get to know more about you,” Rhett offers, and he knows it’s weird but Link just seems to take it as an open invitation to talk more about himself.</p><p>Rhett listens and tries to absorb as much information as he can about Link. He tries not to compare everything to his dreams. Dreams are usually messed up anyway. Incorrect or missing details come with the territory.</p><p> </p><p>They talk for so long that Rhett’s stomach starts growling and Link calls him on it.</p><p>“You hungry?”</p><p>“I missed lunch,” Rhett explains.</p><p>Really he’d been wandering around his apartment checking his phone a million times, waiting for Link to text again. And then he’d been under Link’s kitchen sink. He hadn’t even thought about food at the time.</p><p>“Dude, you should’ve said so,” Link says, and he hops up and heads to the kitchen.</p><p>“Should I–” Rhett starts, not sure whether to sit or follow. “Should I come with you?”</p><p>“If you want!” Link calls from the kitchen.</p><p>Rhett stands and follows him, leaning against the door frame as Link wanders from the fridge to the pantry and back. He’s piling some things on the counter and pulling out plates from the cupboard.</p><p>“Sandwiches okay with you?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Rhett replies, “can I help?”</p><p>Link just smiles at him and half-shrugs. “Up to you.”</p><p>So Rhett moves to stand beside Link. They’ve got bread and cheese and some sort of deli meat. There are also various condiments, and Link is pulling lettuce leaves out of a bag and running them under the faucet. Rhett starts spreading out the ingredients on their plates, first bread, then cheese, then meat. He considers everything for a second, trying to figure out what’s missing.</p><p>“Do you have tomato?”</p><p>“Ergh,” Link makes a disgusted sound. “No, sorry, I hate tomatoes. I never buy them.”</p><p>Rhett smiles to himself. <i>Of course</i>. When he thinks about it he realises it’s something he already knew. It’s a small detail but it makes him feel really happy.</p><p>“Are you okay without it?” Link asks, glancing over.</p><p>“Yeah, man.” Rhett smiles at him. “It’s not a problem.”</p><p>Rhett puts their sandwiches together, and Link fills some glasses with water, and then they’re heading back to the living room together to eat their sandwiches on the couch. It all feels surprisingly domestic.</p><p>“So what do you do in this city for fun?”</p><p>“Oh,” Rhett hesitates, because he hasn’t been doing much of anything lately. “I uh, I haven’t actually been out much recently.”</p><p>Link nods, as if he understands. “The migraines?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Migraines,” Link repeats, “you said you had one that day you came to my door?”</p><p>“<i>Oh</i>, ye– yeah” Rhett stammers, feeling a bit guilty for lying. “Migraines.”</p><p>“You take anything for them?”</p><p>“Just tylenol.”</p><p>“Tylenol?” Link’s giving him a skeptical look. “Does that help?”</p><p>Rhett just shrugs, “mostly.”</p><p>Then he’s steering the conversation towards something else, wanting to get away from anything that involves lying to Link. Rhett tries to remember all the things he used to do before the dreams got bad. Places he used to go, restaurants and bars, parks, hiking, activities he used to do before the dreams took over his life.</p><p>Link seems interested and Rhett can’t help but hope that maybe they can do some of those things together. Maybe he can take Link to all those places. It’s strange to think it might be possible. It still feels like they’re in a sort of dream world in Rhett’s apartment building, and if they venture outside they might just disappear. Or maybe he’ll wake up.</p><p>Rhett pushes the thought away and keeps talking to Link. Keeps grasping at that thin thread of hope within him that tells him this is real.</p><p>They talk for awhile longer until Rhett feels like maybe he’s overstayed his welcome and he should head back to his apartment. The conversation has made him feel like it might be safe to venture back down the hall. Like maybe they’re safe between these two points and Link won’t disappear. He knows it’s absurd, but it’s giving him hope.</p><p>“I should probably go.”</p><p>“Oh,” Link says, “yeah, I guess you probably have other stuff you could be doing.”</p><p>Rhett shrugs, “not really. But I’ve imposed on you enough for one day.”</p><p>It feels odd to be so polite with each other. He wants to just lie down on Link’s couch and tell him he’s not leaving. Or to tell Link to come to his place so they can order pizza and just hang out more.</p><p>But they both sort of nod at each other and Link walks Rhett to the door.</p><p>“Thanks for all your help,” Link says, “and the conversation too. It was really great.”</p><p>“Thank <i>you</i>” Rhett smiles, “we should do it again.”</p><p>“Yeah, definitely.”</p><p>Rhett nods, hesitant to leave, wanting to make sure Link knows he can contact him again. “If you need anything I’m just down the hall. If you have any more questions, or you know, busted sinks or whatever.”</p><p>Link laughs, “I’ll keep that in mind.”</p><p>“Alright.” Rhett steps out into the hallway in his sock feet. “See you later, Link.”</p><p>“Later, Rhett.”</p><p>When Rhett reaches his door he looks back to find Link watching him with a grin. He waves at Rhett.</p><p>Rhett smiles back at him as he unlocks his door, and gives him a wave before disappearing inside.</p><p> </p><p>Rhett spends the evening walking around his apartment with the biggest fucking grin on his face, smiling so much his cheeks actually start to hurt. It’s nice to feel something positive for a change. He’s not worrying. He’s not wondering if he’s losing his mind. He’s just happy.</p><p>He’s not sure how long the feeling will last, but for now he’s holding onto it, trying to enjoy it for as long as he can.</p><p> </p><p>He's in bed when Link texts him. It’s nearly midnight.</p><p>
  <i>You awake?</i>
</p><p>Rhett fumbles with his phone. He’s not really awake, but for Link he will be. He carefully types out three letters.</p><p>
  <i>Yes</i>
</p><p>There’s a long pause before Link replies.</p><p>
  <i>This is crazy. I’m sorry.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What?</i>
</p><p>Rhett waits.</p><p>Finally his phone lights up again.</p><p>
  <i>Can I come over?</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rhett nearly drops his phone as he tries to type a reply.</p><p>
  <i>Yes</i>
</p><p>He waits for Link to say something more, but when no reply comes Rhett hops out of bed and heads to the living room. He leans against the arm of his couch, waiting for a knock at the door, constantly glancing at his phone in case he misses a message from Link.</p><p>After a minute or two Rhett flips the lock on the door and opens it to take a look in the hallway. As he does, he sees Link retreating, as if he'd been at the door and he's heading back to his apartment. Link turns around once to look at Rhett, mouth open as if he’s going to speak, and then he swings back towards his own apartment muttering “sorry, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Link.”</p><p>“Rhett,” Link says, turning around again. “Sorry, this is weird.”</p><p>“It’s probably not,” Rhett replies, because there’s not much Link could say that would sound weirder than ‘I’ve dreamt about you my whole life.’</p><p>Link just looks at him, so Rhett says the only thing he can think to say.</p><p>“You wanna come in?”</p><p>Link steps towards him then and Rhett holds the door open as he rushes through it. Without even looking around Link sits on the couch, stays there for only a second, and then he’s standing, walking around as if he’s frantic about something.</p><p>“I can’t believe I’m bothering you,” Link is rambling, “it’s after midnight, you were probably sleeping.”</p><p>Rhett is still standing by the door and Link glances at him as he paces, eyes moving up Rhett’s body, scrutinizing his pajama pants and t-shirt. “God, you were sleeping weren’t you?”</p><p>“I was in bed,” Rhett admits. “But it’s alright.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>“Link, it’s alright,” Rhett says quietly. “Do you wanna sit down?”</p><p>Link takes a seat on the far edge of the couch, his hands repeatedly tapping his knees. He seems nervous. Or scared. Or maybe excited. Rhett isn’t entirely sure which, so he slowly takes a seat at the opposite end of the couch and waits.</p><p>“I um–” Link starts. “Man, it’s stupid now that I’m about to say it out loud.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I wanted to come over.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I’m not sure why,” Link continues, and his hands are now rubbing worriedly over his knees. “It was like– I mean, when you left? I had the strangest feeling.”</p><p>Rhett wants to speak. He wants to ask what it was and whether it was about him. Does Link know him? Did he have dreams too? Does he remember? He wants to move to Link’s end of the couch and tell him he understands and he’s glad he’s there and beg him to stay. Please just stay. Just move in. Don’t leave again.</p><p>But Rhett waits. And he listens. Because he’s afraid anything else might send Link running for the door.</p><p>“We just met, I mean, we literally never hung out before today” Link says slowly, “but it was like.. I missed you? You left and it felt like you should’a stayed. Like, you weren’t supposed to leave. You were supposed to be at my place. It was like you’d always been there.”</p><p>Link runs a hand over his face.</p><p>“Shit, this is embarrassing. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s alright.” Rhett searches for something more to say, some way for him to explain. He finally settles on “I felt it too,” because it’s the safest explanation.</p><p>“You did?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Rhett says, “I didn’t wanna leave.”</p><p>“Okay,” Link replies, nodding. “Okay. That makes me feel a bit less crazy.”</p><p>“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Rhett says carefully, and Link finally smiles at him.</p><p>There’s a million other things Rhett wants to say. But he’s not sure now is the time. Having a feeling isn’t the same as dreaming about someone before you’ve even met them. It’s not the same as having a relationship with someone over the course of your entire life <i>in your dreams</i>. He’s still afraid it’ll make Link turn and run.</p><p>So instead, Rhett tries to keep things light by pointing to Link’s bare feet. “No shoes?”</p><p>“Yeah, see?” Link laughs, “I just– I wasn’t even thinking. I just headed straight here. It was like I needed to see you.”</p><p>“I needed to see you too,” Rhett says, feeling a sudden sense of relief that he’s able to admit <i>something</i> to Link. “So I’m glad you’re here.”</p><p>Link seems to settle and he shifts closer on the couch, relaxing into the cushions a little.</p><p>“You don’t mind that I got you out of bed for this..” Link gestures around, as if he’s searching for the right word, “..drama?”</p><p>Rhett just smiles at him, “nope.”</p><p>“You’re so chill, man.”</p><p>Rhett laughs. “I’m really not.”</p><p>“Well you seem like it,” Link smiles, “I’m a fucking wreck over here.”</p><p>“I don’t mind.” Rhett shrugs, trying to come up with something more to say. “Sometimes I’m a wreck too.”</p><p>Link just smiles at him again, and maybe he thinks Rhett’s just exaggerating to be empathetic. Rhett wants to tell him ‘I’m a total wreck. I’m not sure if I’m awake or dreaming. I’m a fucking mess’ but he just lets Link move a little closer on the couch, and he listens as they slip into more regular conversation.</p><p>Link tells him about what he’s been doing since they saw each other earlier. He’s been wandering around his place, trying to unpack, attempting to distract himself. He even went for coffee and the idea that Link left the apartment is mind-blowing to Rhett. Did he really leave?</p><p><i>Obviously he’s been leaving the building over the last couple weeks, he’s a regular person, he likely has a job to go to and things to do.</i> But part of Rhett’s mind is still convinced they need to stay within the apartment building, between their two apartments, just to insure Link doesn’t disappear again.</p><p>Link couldn’t go get coffee today. It’s just an idea. Just something Link said that didn’t really happen.</p><p>Rhett quickly realises it’s hard to engage with someone while questioning the validity of everything. He takes a deep breath and attempts to just focus on Link as a living, breathing person. They’re here together right now. They’re talking. It’s real. Of course Link went for coffee. He’s a real person.</p><p>Rhett isn’t dreaming. He’s sure of it. Mostly.</p><p>He tells Link about his evening. He tells Link about smiling until his face hurt. </p><p>They talk about tomorrow. It’s Sunday. They should do something.</p><p>Eventually they’re both yawning and it’s clear they need to sleep. It’s incredibly late. Link should go home.</p><p>But instead, Link is looking around again, almost anxiously, like there’s something on his mind or something he wants to say.</p><p>So Rhett takes a hopeful breath and says “what is it?”</p><p>“Oh god, Rhett,” Link sighs. “Can I stay?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p><i>Stay forever</i>.</p><p>But he doesn’t say that. He only says “yeah” again, and then stammers “y– yes, yes, of course you can,” and Link is looking at him earnestly while he trips over his words.</p><p> </p><p>They fall together so easily. One moment he’s rambling and the next moment Link’s mouth is on his and they’re kissing, moving, touching.</p><p>Rhett doesn’t have memories of sex with Link, but it’s as if his body knows Link’s body. As if they’ve done this countless times before. It feels like a homecoming. It’s as if he’d been homesick for something he didn’t know he was missing.</p><p>He knows how to kiss Link to make his head tip back and his eyes close, he knows where to touch him to make him sigh and moan and push into Rhett’s hand and beg "more, please Rhett, touch me again.”</p><p>When they make their way to Rhett’s bed and he eases Link down onto the sheets, he knows the way Link will kiss him, and the way Link reach for him, holding onto Rhett as they lose control together.</p><p>He knows the sounds Link will make and the way he’ll arch his back and let Rhett fuck into him until they’re coming together. And when Link gasps his release, Rhett knows it will be his name flowing from Link’s lips, <i>Rhett Rhett Rhett</i> over and over as he shoots white heat over himself and Rhett pulses within him. </p><p>Rhett has never thought of sex as making love. The term always sounds too flowery, too dramatic. But <i>this</i>, in this moment, feels like making love.</p><p>Rhett knows the way they’ll settle together after, content to just rest against each other, sweaty and exhausted, and he’s sure he’s done this an infinite number of times. He’s been with this man. He knows him. He knows every want and need within him. He knows how to touch him. And how to love him.</p><p>If Link knows too he doesn’t say. He just settles in beside Rhett and falls asleep.</p><p>Rhett remains in place, on his back, and looks around the room. He’s been so lost he hasn’t had time to think about whether or not he’s dreaming. Because if he <i>was</i> dreaming this is how he would want it to go – Link at his door, Link in his apartment, Link in his bed. No effort. Just easy.</p><p>His eyes travel over the room again. Surely if he was dreaming he’d wake up by now. Dreams don’t allow you much time to just sit and ponder in silence. Rhett’s dreams are usually like jump cuts from one scene to the next and when he starts to question them he wakes up.</p><p>And he’s not waking up.</p><p>Link breathes softly next to him and Rhett allows himself to turn and look. He lets himself stare. He wonders how Link can sleep so easily. He looks soft, peaceful.</p><p>He wonders if Link ever dreams of him. Maybe that’s why he’s here. Maybe he’s not telling Rhett, the same way Rhett isn’t telling him. Maybe they’re both afraid of what the other might think.</p><p>Rhett watches Link until his eyes are heavy and he knows he can’t stay awake much longer. He’d like to reach out and take Link’s hand, entwine his fingers in his own, and hope it’ll somehow keep Link there until morning.</p><p>But Rhett doesn’t.</p><p>Instead, he reaches to flick off the bedside lamp, and then he moves just close enough for his arm to touch Link’s arm. Just to feel his warmth, just to know he’s there.</p><p>And he falls into a restless sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rhett wakes up alone. He sighs into the empty room.</p><p>“Goddamn it.”</p><p>He sits up slowly and takes a careful look around.</p><p>His clothes are on the floor, but just his. Link’s are gone – if they were ever there to begin with.</p><p>Rhett’s phone isn’t on the bedside table, so he can’t read over his texts just to see if the previous night really happened. He can’t even read over Link’s older texts to see if they exist at all. It’s how he’s been reassuring himself, just seeing the words on the screen, knowing someone sent them. <i>Link sent them</i>.</p><p>Rhett lies still for several minutes, considering things. Overthinking things.</p><p>Link isn’t there.</p><p>Did he leave? Did he wake up and regret things and slip out before Rhett could stop him and beg him to stay?</p><p>Did he disappear? Did Rhett let his guard down and lose him like he’d feared he would?</p><p>Had Link been there at all? Was it just a dream? Maybe he’s been asleep this whole time. The meeting in the hallway, going to Link’s door, fixing the sink, Link coming over. Maybe it’s all been a dream and Rhett is just finally waking up.</p><p>Rhett rubs his hand over his eyes and sits up. His head doesn’t hurt at least, so that’s an improvement from the usual dreams.</p><p>He slips on his pajama pants and leaves his bedroom, stopping in the bathroom for a quick piss. As he’s washing his hands he looks at his reflection in the mirror. He stares for a moment, looking over his messy hair and his tired eyes. He’s a mess.</p><p>“You idiot” he mutters.</p><p>He heads for the living room, determined to locate his phone so he can at least attempt to make some sense of things. If he can figure out whether or not Link texted him he might be able to figure out where he went. And if Link’s name isn’t on his phone he’ll know he’s completely lost it.</p><p>Rhett steps into the living room, his mind completely preoccupied, and he nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees a person sitting on his couch.</p><p>“<i>Christ</i>.”</p><p>Link glances up at him. “Hi.”</p><p>“Hi.” Rhett exhales loudly. “You scared me.”</p><p>“Sorry, man.”</p><p>“It’s alright. I just thought you were–” Rhett hesitates, looking for the right word, “I thought you left.”</p><p>“Yeah, I didn’t want to just leave without saying anything”</p><p>“Why were you–” Rhett starts. “I mean, did you <i>want</i> to leave?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Link says, and he’s looking around the room as if he’s afraid to meet Rhett’s eye.</p><p>He’s back in his clothes from the night before and he’s pressed into the far corner of the couch with one leg tucked under himself. He’d look comfortable if it weren’t for the worried look on his face.</p><p>Rhett remains quiet, waiting to see what he might say.</p><p>“It’s just, I don’t do this,” Link says.</p><p>“This?”</p><p>“<i>This</i>” Link gestures between them a bit hysterically. “I don’t sleep with people so quickly. And I don’t stay over the first night. Or the second. Or even the third sometimes.</p><p>“I don’t usually either.”</p><p>“I remember..” Link continues, “you know, <i>us</i>. And then I don’t even remember falling asleep.”</p><p>“You were out pretty quick.”</p><p>Link nods, his eyes wide. “I don’t do that. I don’t trust like that.”</p><p>“Okay,” Rhett’s still standing in the doorway, not entirely sure whether he should go sit with Link or just maintain his distance.</p><p>“But I trusted you,” Link is saying, “like I knew I’d be safe.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t hurt you, man.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know that,” Link says. “Why do I already know that?”</p><p>Rhett just shrugs, because he can’t say <i>‘we know each other. I’d never hurt you. I’m already in love with you, I think I have been my whole life.’</i></p><p>“You wanna stay for breakfast?” he offers instead.</p><p>Link makes a funny shape with his mouth, like he’s considering. It’s something Rhett’s never seen before.</p><p>“Yeah,” Link says after a moment. </p><p>“Eggs?”</p><p>Link nods. “Not runny though.”</p><p><i>Of course</i>. Rhett feels like he knows that.</p><p>“Crispy bacon?”</p><p>Link finally grins, pointing at him. “Yes.”</p><p>Rhett heads into the kitchen, smiling to himself over tiny details.</p><p> </p><p>He leaves Link to sit in the living room, wanting to give him whatever space he needs.</p><p>Rhett quickly cooks up some bacon and eggs, arranging them on two plates with some toast, and he pours two glasses of orange juice. He runs the plates out first, handing Link’s plate to him and setting his own on the coffee table before running back into the kitchen for the juice.</p><p>“I don’t have coffee” Rhett says as he hands the glass to Link, “I hope this is okay.”</p><p>“It looks great,” Link replies, and he seems a bit more relaxed than he did before breakfast. He’s smiling at least.</p><p>They eat and they chat and by the time Rhett is running empty plates out to the kitchen things seem back to normal – whatever their normal is. He has to keep reminding himself that they’ve only just met.</p><p>“I was going to suggest coffee at my place,” Link says when Rhett sits down again, “but do you wanna go somewhere instead? We could grab a coffee and hang out or something. Walk around?”</p><p>Rhett hesitates. He doesn’t really want to leave the apartment building. He’s been trying to avoid it.</p><p>Knowing Link leaves the building is one thing, but actively choosing to leave the building with Link seems like a completely different type of risk. And it’s one Rhett isn’t sure he wants to explore.</p><p>But Link is looking at him, waiting for an answer, and he finds himself saying “yeah, definitely.”</p><p>“Okay, great. I should go back to my place first because I need to shower. But you wanna meet in the hallway in an hour?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Rhett keeps agreeing even though he really wants to say no. He doesn’t want to leave the building with Link. Hell, at this point he doesn’t even want Link to leave the apartment.</p><p>But he walks Link to the door and watches him walk down the hall. He’s still barefoot.</p><p>Rhett tries not to call out to him to make sure he’ll come back.</p><p>Instead he calls down the hall, “see you in an hour?” and Link nods and waves before disappearing into his apartment.</p><p> </p><p>Rhett gets ready quickly, figuring the sooner he’s ready the sooner he’ll be able to see Link again. He showers, fixes his hair, brushes his teeth, and picks out something nice to wear. Jeans and a button up. Plaid. He always looks nice in plaid.  He grabs his wallet and his keys and sits on the edge of the couch, staring at his phone, trying to busy himself. Trying not to count down the minutes.</p><p>When an hour has passed he opens the door and steps out into the hallway. He expects to find it empty. He expects to start panicking, wondering whether Link will show up, wondering whether he’s okay, and wondering whether he’s finally gone.</p><p>But Link is there. Just waiting. And he smiles when he sees Rhett.</p><p>“Ready to go?”</p><p>Link doesn’t wait for an answer, he just walks towards the elevator and Rhett follows.</p><p>When they’re in the elevator, Link pushes the button for the lobby. “Can we take your car? I figure you know your way around better than me.”</p><p>“Sure.” Rhett nods and tries to smile. He’s feeling uneasy about it, but at least they’re going together.</p><p>He’s still nervous as they approach the lobby doors. The outside is waiting and Rhett doesn’t know what’ll happen when they get out there. Maybe they’ll just disappear together.</p><p>It’s a ridiculous idea, but everything seems a little ridiculous lately.</p><p>Once they’re outside the nervous feeling seems to dissipate. They’ve made it out together. Rhett is still not entirely sure what’s happening, but at least Link is with him. He suddenly feels less worried.</p><p>They walk to the parking lot and get into Rhett’s car, and everything seems pretty normal. He’s hanging out with Link like he’s done a thousand times before. The places are different, but Link is the same. Rhett starts to feel like everything might just be okay.</p><p>He drives them to his favorite coffee place – a little hole in the wall shop owned by a mom and daughter team. All the tables and chairs are mismatched and there’s a guitar in the corner that anyone can just pick up and play. All the baked goods are made fresh and the entire place smells like coffee and cinnamon.</p><p>Rhett hasn’t been there in a long while, but he used to be a regular and the girl behind the counter points at him in recognition, speaking to him over the line of customers.</p><p>“The usual?”</p><p>Rhett shakes his head. “Tea drinker now.”</p><p>She looks surprised. “Oh, just let them know at the counter!”</p><p>Link watches the exchange and looks up at Rhett in amusement.</p><p>“You come here a lot I guess?”</p><p>“I used to,” Rhett admits, “but I haven’t been here in quite awhile.”</p><p>“So you drink tea now?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve been trying to cut out coffee.”</p><p>Link laughs. “You should’ve told me at my place, I could’a made you tea.”</p><p>“I didn’t want to be rude.”</p><p>Link furrows his brow. “Dude, that wouldn’t be rude. Just tell me you like tea.”</p><p>“I will next time.” Rhett smiles at him and Link smiles back.</p><p>When they reach the counter, Rhett orders his tea and Link orders some sort of creamy sugar-filled coffee concoction with salted whipped cream. They pick out a couple baked goods and then Rhett pays while Link finds a place for them to sit. They don’t discuss it, they just do it. It seems natural.</p><p>Rhett ponders it while he carries their plates over to the table.</p><p>“I should’ve paid” Link says, and maybe he’d been pondering it too. “I mean, I was the one who invited you out.. I just got distracted finding a table for us.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” </p><p>“I’ll pay next time?”</p><p>Rhett just shrugs. “Sure if you want, but I don’t mind paying.”</p><p> </p><p>They sit and talk, and it’s all very comfortable, and when their drinks are dropped off Rhett watches as Link takes a long sip and ends up with a whipped cream mustache. Without even thinking, Rhett reaches over with a napkin and wipes it off, and Link lets him.</p><p>They talk about their families, how Rhett’s parents are still married and he has an older brother, and Link tells him about being an only child raised by a single mom. Rhett knows it already, but he doesn’t mind hearing it again. He listens for little details that might be different. Link lived in an apartment, not the bungalow from Rhett’s dreams. And he never had a dog, but he did have a cat that he adored.</p><p>They talk about music, and Link gestures to the communal guitar and asks if Rhett plays. Rhett says yes, and asks whether Link plays any instruments, and he’s waiting. He’s sure he knows what answer is going to come out of Link’s mouth.</p><p>“I learned the trumpet in middle school, but I’m not fluent or anything.”</p><p>“And the mouth trumpet too?” Rhett says it without thinking, and Link gives him an incredulous look.</p><p>“WHAT?” Link picks up his spoon and holds it between his hands, bringing it to his mouth and pretending to play it. He makes quiet trumpet sounds between them at the table and turns them into a drawn-out jazzy little tune.</p><p>Rhett feels incredibly happy about it and he’s sure he’s grinning like an idiot.</p><p>When Link stops he just looks at Rhett. “How’d you know that?”</p><p>Rhett’s grin fades slightly. “I just– I just guessed. Pretty sure all trumpet players know how to play a mean mouth trumpet.”</p><p>“Do they?”</p><p>“I don’t know..”</p><p>Link’s staring at him, looking partly amused and partly confused, like he’s trying to figure Rhett out.</p><p>“You wanna get outta here and walk around?”</p><p>“Yes.” Rhett is grateful for the out. He isn’t sure how he’d handle more questions without just telling Link the truth.</p><p>They finish the last sips of their drinks and Rhett tucks a few bills under his tea cup, and then they head for the door.</p><p>Once they’re outside, Link slips his hand into Rhett’s and leads him up the sidewalk.</p><p>Link looks content and the idea of it fills Rhett with a sense of happiness that he hasn’t felt in a long time. </p><p>He’s holding Link’s hand, and it feels electric.</p><p>Link pulls him along, stopping to look in the occasional storefront, and Rhett tries to focus on him while also being completely distracted by the world around them. People are just going about their days: working, shopping, eating, walking around, driving cars. And he’s here with Link. They’re actually together. It’s amazing that Link is with him, <i>really with him</i>, not just in his mind.</p><p>Rhett can’t remember the last time he’s felt this happy. He’s been so used to anxiety and turmoil, the idea of being happy seems so alien to him. He feels calm. Peaceful. It’s an odd feeling, but he welcomes it.</p><p>They come across an ice cream shop and Link is cursing the massive whipped cream coffee drink he’d finished earlier, because now he’s too full for ice cream. They decide they’ll come back another day.</p><p>They reach the park and they sit on a park bench and watch an old man throw stale breadcrumbs at the birds. They watch other people go by. Joggers. Couples. Parents with kids.</p><p>The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. And Rhett is holding Link’s hand.</p><p>Everything finally seems to make sense.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually they head back to their apartment building. Rhett feels safe going back inside, like he trusts that Link is going with him. They’re going to be alright.</p><p>“Gotta be up early tomorrow” Link is saying, standing at Rhett’s door, still holding his hand. “I need to be at work by eight.”</p><p>Rhett nods, because he has work tomorrow too. He doesn’t want to cut the day short, but it seems like the sensible thing to do. Especially when they’d both been up far too late the night before. </p><p>He pulls Link closer to him, kissing him softly, waiting for Link to open in the way he knows he will, and Link does, letting Rhett’s tongue in and curling his own tongue gently around it.</p><p>“Can I text you later?” Rhett asks against his mouth.</p><p>“You can text me anytime you want.” Link pauses to kiss him again. “Don’t wait for me to text you about broken sinks or late night visits.”</p><p>Rhett laughs. “You might regret that. I’ll be textin’ you all the time.”</p><p>“I’m fine with that.”</p><p>Link kisses him once more, quickly, and then pulls away and heads down the hall. </p><p>“See ya, Rhett.”</p><p>“See you, Link.”</p><p>Rhett watches him go. He waits for Link to go inside his apartment and then he steps inside his own and closes the door.</p><p>He feels good about it. He’s not worrying. He’s not concerned about whether or not Link will come back, or if he’ll disappear into the ether.</p><p>It all feels really good.</p><p> </p><p>It’s after ten when there’s a knock at Rhett’s door. The knock is soft. Barely there.</p><p>Rhett doesn’t bother looking through the peep hole. He knows who will be on the other side.</p><p>Rhett opens the door and Link is standing there looking at him. He doesn’t look stressed or worried like he did the night before. He’s barefoot and he’s smiling.</p><p>“Take me to bed.”</p><p>And Rhett does.</p><p>He carries Link to the bedroom, with Link’s thighs wrapped around his waist, and Rhett doesn't stop kissing him until Link is gasping at the fullness of Rhett in him and coming over his stomach while whispering Rhett’s name against his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Afterwards, Link manages to stay awake slightly longer than the night before. He’s smiling and he’s talking about work tomorrow, and he retrieves his phone from his pants and sets an alarm for himself before reaching over Rhett and placing his phone on the bedside table. Then Link kisses him once and promptly falls asleep.</p><p>Rhett gets up to turn off the lights in his apartment, has a quick piss and brushes his teeth, and then he settles in next to Link.</p><p>He lets himself look again.</p><p>Link’s mouth is open, slack, and he’s breathing softly. He looks peaceful. He always looks peaceful when he sleeps.</p><p>“My whole life..” Rhett says quietly, feeling like this might be the best way to tell Link. “I wanted you to be here with me.”</p><p>He pauses, thinking back to his dreams, remembering the last one.</p><p>“I was scared when you disappeared,” Rhett continues, “I thought I might never see you again.”</p><p>Link stirs suddenly, making a  “hmm?” sound, but his eyes stay closed.</p><p>Rhett doesn’t explain, and Link doesn’t really wake up for it anyway.</p><p>“I’m glad I found you.”</p><p>Rhett lets himself hold Link’s hand this time, and at some point he drifts off to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry for the delay with this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Link stayed every night for the first week. </p><p>By the second week he had a toothbrush in Rhett’s bathroom and Rhett had given him an apartment key so Link could come and go as he pleased. Rhett hoped he’d never leave.</p><p>A month later, Link had pretty much moved in. His place was still new anyway and he was only partially unpacked. His apartment didn’t feel homey like Rhett’s place, and by week three he brought some of his still-packed boxes over and unpacked them at Rhett’s apartment. He set up his record collection in a corner, and after it was in place Rhett couldn’t remember what had been there before. Maybe nothing. Maybe he’d been saving the space for Link.</p><p> </p><p>Two months later, Link mentions that his mom is coming to visit. He really wants Rhett to meet her, and Rhett isn’t reluctant exactly but he is nervous. Finding Link was one thing, but meeting other people from his dreams feels like an entirely different story.</p><p> </p><p>On the afternoon of her arrival, Rhett dresses in something nice, examines himself in the mirror, and silently prays that he won’t fuck up.</p><p>“She’s coming here first and then I thought we could take her out somewhere to eat.”</p><p>Rhett stands in the doorway of the kitchen and watches Link move around the apartment straightening things and searching for areas to tidy. He’s dressed casually, just wearing jeans and a band t-shirt, and Rhett glances down at his own clothes.</p><p>“Should I change my shirt?”</p><p>Link stops to consider him for a second. “Nah, you look good in plaid.”</p><p>Rhett grins, “<i>I know</i>.”</p><p>“My mom doesn’t really care about that kind of stuff anyway,” Link grins back, “she’s more focused on why I moved in with some strange guy so quickly.”</p><p>“Really?” Rhett cringes. “Is she bothered by it?”</p><p>“No, not really,” Link winks at him. “She’s mostly fine with it.”</p><p>It is a little crazy. To the two of them it makes perfect sense, but when they say it out loud it seems a little out there that Link essentially moved in after a matter of days.</p><p>Link always talks about how quickly they got together. How it was as if they’d always known each other. He loves to tell people the story. Rhett loves the story too, but he’s also consumed by guilt every time Link tells it.</p><p>He still hasn’t told Link about the dreams. He’s not sure if he ever will. He argues with himself sometimes, usually after Link’s told the story, or he’s said something incredibly sweet, or when they’re in bed in a post-fucking daze and they can’t help but stare at each other in awe.</p><p>“How..?” Link often asks him in a breathless voice, “It’s like you know every fucking spot.”</p><p>And Rhett doesn’t know – not really. He has no memory of them together sexually in any life but this one, but his body knows. His hands know. His mouth knows.</p><p>And he thinks maybe Link knows too, because Rhett’s never had a partner who knows him as intuitively as Link. Link knows the ways to touch and kiss and suck to make Rhett’s knees go weak and his body sing. He knows how Rhett will react to situations, he knows what Rhett’s thinking just by the look on his face, he knows the things to say to make Rhett smile or howl with laughter. Whether Link realises it or not, he knows Rhett.</p><p>And it all makes Rhett feels like a liar. He feels like a piece of shit who is keeping a massive secret from the person who matters most to him in the world. He’s gone from worrying that Link will walk out because it’s so crazy, to worrying that Link will walk out because he’s withheld the information for so long. Rhett knows it’s a definite possibility, and the thought of it terrifies him.</p><p> </p><p>When the downstairs bell rings, Link buzzes his mom in and quickly rushes to the elevator to meet her. Rhett isn’t sure whether to follow him or wait in the apartment, so he just paces between the couch and the door. In the past, the majority of his relationships never reached the ‘meet the parents’ stage and he’s not sure how he’s going to navigate the awkwardness of that combined with the fact that he’s already met Link’s mom. He’s known her for decades.</p><p>Fortunately he’s not given much of a chance to panic over it because Link has returned and he’s holding the door open for his mom. Rhett stands in the middle of the room and watches them.</p><p>It’s the same woman from his dreams. Rhett hasn’t seen her in a long while, so she’s older, but it’s definitely her.</p><p>A flood of memories come back to him suddenly: breakfast cereal on Saturday mornings after a sleepover, sitting with Link in the backseat of the K-car while she drove them somewhere, his mom raising her voice when they spilled grape juice on the living room carpet. He can remember getting into trouble with Link, countless times, and how she never seemed really mad at them. She never reacted the way his own parents did, with anger and a whoopin’, and he always thought Link was lucky for it.</p><p>“Mom, this is Rhett,” Link is saying, and Rhett has enough sense to step forward and offer his hand.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you too,” she says with a smile. “I’m glad to finally meet the boy my son’s fallen head over heels for.”</p><p>Rhett drops his gaze shyly. “Oh yes, ma’am. Well I’m glad to finally meet you too. Link talks about you all the time.”</p><p>Link ushers them over to the couch and they sit and have a visit. His mom smiles and chats with them and everything flows nicely. She doesn’t seem to recognise Rhett at all, but she seems happy to meet him and even tells him to call her Sue.</p><p>They take her out for dinner and Rhett manages to keep his side of the conversation light while also turning up the charm. He’s never had to work for her affection before. In his dreams he’d known her as far back as he could remember, and she’d always liked him. But this is something completely new, and he really wants Link’s mom to like him – he knows it’s a crucial part of a relationship with Link.</p><p>After dinner and goodbyes, Rhett can’t help but feel anxious over whether or not he made a good impression.</p><p>He waits until later to ask Link, when they’re on the couch and Link is climbing onto his lap.</p><p>“You think your mom had a good time?”</p><p>“Yeah, she seemed happy.”</p><p>“Did I make a good impression?”</p><p>“Of course you did,” Link smiles, “I think she loved you.”</p><p>Link dips his hand between Rhett’s legs.</p><p>“But she always ends up loving what I love.”</p><p>Rhett is quiet. They haven’t actually said it yet. Rhett has wanted to, but he somehow still felt like he’d scare Link off.</p><p>And Link doesn’t have to say it. Rhett already knows, like he can feel it in his soul.</p><p>Link is watching him, as if he knows what Rhett’s silent awkwardness means.</p><p>“Oh, have I not told you yet? I love you,” there’s a beat as Link’s mouth grazes Rhett’s ear and he whispers, “you dummy.”</p><p>Rhett smiles and tips his head back, letting Link’s mouth move over him. “I love you too.”</p><p>It’s everything he’s ever wanted.</p><p> </p><p>He’s been going places again, and he’s been seeing some of the friends he ghosted when the dreams got bad. He’s introduced them to Link, and while not all of his friends know about his dreams, a few of them do and occasionally a friend will pull him aside and give him a questioning smile, asking, “he moved in already?” or “this one gonna last?” because they know Rhett’s history with relationships. No one becomes more important than the guy from his dreams.</p><p>It takes everything in Rhett not to tell them ‘this is the guy’ because if they didn’t think he was completely crazy before, this would definitely convince them. So Rhett just smiles and says  <i>“yeah, I’m sure it’s going to last.”</i> He doesn’t owe anyone more of an explanation than that.</p><p> </p><p>They love each other. They’re happy together. It all happens so naturally.</p><p>Rhett isn’t surprised by it, but it still makes him question things sometimes – usually after Link has fallen asleep and Rhett gets that familiar fear. In those late-night moments he still wonders if he’s permanently stuck in a dream.</p><p>If it is a dream, he doesn’t want to wake up.</p><p>But he still thinks about it. It’s as if he needs to know whether it will end someday.</p><p>On those nights he keeps the light on low and fights against his heavy eyelids, forcing himself to stay awake. He wants to just look at Link a little longer, like it’s his last chance. He worries that he’ll finally wake up from a long sleep and Link will be gone.</p><p>Rhett knows it’s not a healthy mindset but it is what it is. And so far Link hasn’t disappeared.</p><p> </p><p>The moment comes on a random day. It’s a Saturday no different than any other Saturday. He should’ve known it wouldn’t be some grand gesture or dramatic confession. It would just be a simple question that would force him to finally reveal the secret he’s been keeping from Link since the beginning.</p><p> </p><p>Rhett’s never been one to spend much time tidying, but he finds himself making their bed on a Saturday afternoon because he knows it’ll make Link happy to crawl into a freshly made bed that night. Link watches him and Rhett knows he’s likely silently judging his technique, but he just smiles at Rhett and distracts himself by straightening up random things around the room. When he reaches the bedside table he picks up the bottle of tylenol that still sits there.</p><p>When Rhett replays the moment later, he isn’t sure why he kept the bottle there for so long. It was so simple. Why didn’t he see the question coming?</p><p>“Did your migraines stop?”</p><p>Rhett raises his head suddenly, caught off guard. “Huh?”</p><p>“You haven’t had one since we’ve been together.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“<i>No</i>, I mean, I’m pretty sure I’d know if you had a migraine.”</p><p>Rhett just stands across the room, holding the edge of the duvet, staring at Link.</p><p>He’s suddenly torn between continuing the life, or just telling Link the truth. He briefly considers telling a form of the truth, glossing over important details, and ending the conversation quickly. But he knows this moment has been a long time coming, and this might be his only chance. Link has opened the door for him and Rhett just needs to grow a fucking spine and walk through it.</p><p>So after a moment of consideration, he decides to tell the truth.</p><p>“I– I don’t get migraines.”</p><p>Link’s just looking at him, confused.</p><p>“I mean, I used to get headaches but it was something different. Not migraines.”</p><p>Link turns the tylenol bottle over in his hand. “Oh, just bad headaches then?”</p><p>“Sort of, yeah.”</p><p>“Okay.” Link gives him a look, and with the way he seems to intuitively know Rhett, Rhett knows he probably doesn’t buy it.</p><p>Rhett gestures to the bed. “Can we sit down?”</p><p>Link nods and sits on the bed, crossing his legs under him. Rhett takes an uneasy seat beside him, perched closer to the edge of the bed.</p><p>“I used to have these dreams,” Rhett says carefully, “and when I’d wake up my head would be killing me.”</p><p>“Nightmares?”</p><p>“No, actually. Not nightmares at all.”</p><p>They’re quiet for a moment as Rhett tries to figure out what to say and Link seems to just be waiting for him to continue.</p><p>“I used to dream about you.”</p><p>Link gives him an odd look, “okaaaaay. I used to dream about you too.”</p><p>Hope wells in Rhett’s chest. “You did?? Really?”</p><p>“Well yeah,” Link smiles, “when we first met? That first week I dreamed about you every night.”</p><p>“Oh,” Rhett says quietly. “That's... that's not what I meant.”</p><p>“Okay, so tell me what you meant.”</p><p>“I had dreams about you,” Rhett stresses, “like, for my entire life.”</p><p>“What does that even mean? You dreamed of having an amazingly handsome and hilarious boyfriend someday?”</p><p>“I'm being serious.”</p><p>Link grins at him. “So am I.”</p><p>“Link.”</p><p>“<i>Rhett</i>.” Link tips his head at him in an exaggerated motion. He’s being silly, and normally Rhett would love it, but in this moment he really just wants Link to hear him and understand.</p><p>“Link, listen,” Rhett takes a deep breath, “I used to dream about you. Before I met you. Before <i>we</i> met.”</p><p>Link’s still just looking at him, his brow furrowed. “I don’t get it.”</p><p>So Rhett explains. The dreams, growing up together. How he’d known Link his entire life, as far back as he could remember. He knew Link, he knew his mom, and Link knew Rhett’s family too. He briefly describes being kids together, going to school, growing up, getting older. Doing all of it together.</p><p>Link stays quiet and just listens.</p><p>“When we met in the hallway, I already knew you,” Rhett says finally. “I didn’t know your name, but I knew <i>you</i>.”</p><p>Link stares at him. “Is this a joke?”</p><p>“It’s not a joke, I swear.”</p><p>“Because I feel like I’m waiting for some sort of punchline.”</p><p>“Link, it’s not a joke.”</p><p>Link just keeps staring at him. “So let me get this straight. I’m supposed to believe that you somehow knew me before we met. Because of these dreams?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Link huffs out a laugh.“Rhett, that’s crazy.”</p><p>“Is it?” Rhett asks desperately. “Think about it Link, is it really that crazy?”</p><p>“I mean, I don’t know,” Link shrugs. “It sounds crazy.”</p><p>“And you moving in here after a couple days? That’s not crazy?”</p><p>“Not as crazy as saying you dreamed about me your whole life!”</p><p>“You said it was like we knew each other, right?”</p><p>“Well yeah, but– ”</p><p>“<i>I knew you.</i> And I think you knew me.”</p><p>Link shakes his head. “I didn’t!”</p><p>“<i>Link</i>.”</p><p>“Did you trick me somehow?” Rhett isn’t sure what sets him off, but Link suddenly looks on edge. “Like, what the fuck Rhett?”</p><p>“I didn’t, I swear. I didn’t do anything.”</p><p>“That first day we hung out, I showed up at your door and fucked you!”</p><p>“To be fair, I fucked you.” Rhett can’t help the smirk that falls across his face, and Link smacks him on the shoulder.</p><p>“Don’t joke about it! The first day, Rhett! And you let me!”</p><p>“I know, but it wasn’t the first day for me. Sleeping together didn’t seem weird to me.”</p><p>“Fuck you! I trusted you so quickly and you lied to me! You’ve been lying since the beginning..”</p><p>“To protect you.” Rhett touches Link’s arm and Link shakes him off.</p><p>“To protect me??! You were protecting yourself you asshole!”</p><p>The words sting, but Link isn’t wrong. Rhett <i>was</i> protecting himself. But he also feels like he was protecting <i>them</i> and any possible relationship they could have in this reality.</p><p>“I was protecting <i>us</i>. You would’ve thought I was crazy. You would’ve left. And then this,” he gestures between them, “wouldn’t happen.”</p><p>“You just assumed I’d run off?”</p><p>“I mean–  I didn’t– ” Rhett thinks about it for a split second and then decides to stick with honesty. “<i>Yeah</i>. I thought you’d run off.”</p><p>“Well congratulations,” Link laughs bitterly, “self-fulfilling prophecy.”</p><p>Rhett can feel panic settling in. Link is going to leave.</p><p>“Link, please don’t. Just listen to me, please.”</p><p>Link gets up from the bed and starts moving around the room. Rhett can tell he’s packing. He’s grabbing clothes and putting them in a bag. He takes his wallet and phone from the bedside table and shoves them in his pockets.</p><p>
  <i>He’s going to leave.</i>
</p><p>“You should’ve told me,” Link is saying, “I showed up here acting fucking crazy and not knowing why and you could’ve helped me. You could’ve told me and it might’ve made it all make sense.”</p><p>“I know,” Rhett follows Link to the bathroom and watches as Link grabs his toothbrush and toiletries.</p><p>“And you didn’t,” Link continues moving through the apartment, “even after all this time you didn’t. </p><p>“I’m telling you now.”</p><p>“Great. Thanks.” Link pauses, standing to look at Rhett for a moment. “Rhett, I’ve told that fucking story so many times, how it was like we knew each other. And you’ve just been sitting there with this fucking insane information that you’ve conveniently left out of the story. I feel like an absolute idiot.”</p><p>He walks away, heading to the living room, and Rhett follows him.</p><p>“You’re not an idiot. Link, that doesn’t make you an idiot. I’m the fucking idiot.”</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>Link’s putting on his shoes. </p><p>“Link stop.”</p><p>“No,” Link stands quickly, and Rhett can see his hands are shaking.  “I’m going.”</p><p>“Where??”</p><p>“I don’t know. Home. To my mom’s. Don’t follow me.”</p><p>“Link, this is your home. All your stuff is here. <i>I’m</i> here.</p><p>“I’ll get my stuff some other time,” Link says, not meeting his eye. “I don’t know when, it doesn’t matter.”</p><p>He doesn’t mention Rhett. </p><p>“Link, please,” Rhett says quietly.</p><p>But Link doesn’t answer, he just walks out the door and heads down the stairwell. Rhett follows him down the stairs and out the door, pleading, and when they reach Link’s car Rhett tries to hold the door open as a last ditch attempt to keep him there.</p><p>“Please, Link.”</p><p>“Rhett, move your hand,” Link yanks on the door and slams it shut.</p><p>Rhett can only stand and watch as Link backs out and drives away. He considers following in his own car, but it would be dangerous and distracting and he knows Link would hate it.</p><p>So he just stands stupidly in the parking lot. He’s not sure how long he stands there and he doesn’t really remember walking back inside, but at some point he ends up in his apartment.</p><p>He’s too shocked to panic, or even cry, and some small part of his brain wonders if it’s another dream. He knows it’s not, that wouldn’t make sense, but not much has made sense since the dreams got bad. The lucid dreams, the headaches, Link disappearing, Rhett finding him in the hallway. It’s not something that should be able to happen, it doesn’t make sense.</p><p>Link was the only thing that made sense in all of it. Being with Link made sense.</p><p>Rhett wanders around, looking at everything Link left behind, trying to grasp the fact that it happened.</p><p>Link left.</p><p>Rhett lost him again.</p><p>He finally takes his phone from his pocket and dials Link’s number, but it goes straight to voicemail.</p><p>“Link, please call me back. I love you. I wanna fix this. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I was scared. I’m an idiot. Please call me. Or just come back. Please come back. I’m so fucking stupid. I love you. God, Link, I love you. I love you..” he pleads until the time limit on Link’s voicemail cuts him off.</p><p>Rhett spends the rest of the day in a daze, and at some point he sends Link a short text with a simple plea:</p><p>
  <i>Please come home. I love you.</i>
</p><p>Sometime after midnight he falls asleep with his phone in his hand. His sleep is fitful, and he wakes throughout the night reaching for Link. When Rhett doesn’t find him there he checks his phone, hoping Link has called or texted and he somehow just missed it.</p><p>Link doesn’t call back.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's a lot of dialogue in this chapter.. they just have a lot to say to each other..</p><p>If you're interested in what exactly was happening between them in this story feel free to ask in the comments or send me a dm on Tumblr. It's hard to convey exactly what's happening when the story is being told from Rhett's POV and he doesn't have a clue what's going on..</p><p>Anyway, we've reached the end. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As days go by, Rhett can feel himself slipping into panic mode.</p><p>He’s fucked it up. The last thing he wanted was for Link to leave, and now he’s gone and it’s Rhett’s fault.</p><p>He should’ve kept his stupid mouth shut. He could’ve done that forever – just kept living blissfully with Link. There was no reason Link needed to know, and sure, maybe for Rhett’s own sanity he needed Link to know, but he’s not sure how his current situation is any better. He feels like he’s losing his mind. He’s tried calling. He’s tried texting. Link won’t answer him.</p><p>When a friend texts him near the the end of the week, inviting him and Link out to a bar that weekend, Rhett doesn’t reply. He doesn’t want to have to explain. Doesn’t want to have to say, <i>'yeah, another failed relationship..'</i> And the select few who know about the dreams would give him a knowing look, maybe giggle a little, and Rhett’s not sure how he would explain, <i>’It was him. He was the guy. That was my chance and I blew it.’</i></p><p>He’s hardly sleeping, and when he does sleep it’s fitful and dreamless. He almost wishes he would dream. He’d take all the headaches and agony and confusion if it meant he could see Link again. Just to talk to him. To make sure he’s okay. And to apologise.</p><p>Logically, he knows it wouldn’t be Link. Not the real Link. But maybe it would set his mind at ease. And maybe Link could give him some advice, because he’d always gone to Link for advice. It doesn’t make sense, but he’s desperate.</p><p>Eventually he attempts it, using all the preparation tips and relaxation techniques for the lucid dreaming he used to do.</p><p>He has no success on the first night. He sleeps, but wakes countless times with a start, jolting in bed, reaching for Link. A few times he’s sure he shouts out, calling, searching. </p><p>In the morning he feels exhausted, like he’s been awake all night.</p><p>On the second night of trying, he really attempts to calm himself. He meditates first, trying to center his mind on nothing but Link, and when it’s time to lie down and sleep it doesn’t take much effort because he’s still so exhausted from the night before.</p><p>By some miracle, he sleeps soundly.</p><p>And he dreams.</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>He’s back at the campfire.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It’s the same fire. The same cool air. The same swirling smoke.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rhett shields his eyes from it, and when it clears he takes a look around.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The tent is in the same spot.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>But the vehicle is gone. The supplies are gone.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Link is still gone.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rhett rises from his chair and runs to the tent, hoping he’ll find Link inside. It’s the only place he could  be if he’s not at the fire, but he isn’t there.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>And Rhett is still alone. </i>
</p><p> </p><p>The sound of a key in a lock pulls him from the dream.</p><p>Rhett rushes from his bed, stumbling in the darkness, tripping over the clothes he’d discarded on the floor earlier.</p><p>There’s a flash of light from the hallway as the door of his apartment opens and closes and as Rhett reaches the door he fumbles to find the light switch.</p><p>“Rhett, it’s okay.” It’s Link’s voice. “Leave the lights off, I know you were asleep.”</p><p>“<i>Link</i>.”</p><p>Rhett reaches for him, grasping desperately in the darkness. He locates Link’s jacket, his arm, and Rhett’s fingers hold tight to the fabric as if he’s scared to let him go. He <i>is</i> scared.</p><p>“Link,” Rhett feels like he’s on the verge of tears as he forces out the words, “is this a dream?”</p><p>He feels pathetic, but he has to ask. He isn’t sure. Maybe it’s a continuation of the campfire. Maybe it’s something Rhett’s mind created. Maybe he’ll wake up alone again.</p><p>But Link sighs, and his breath feels warm on Rhett’s skin. “No.. it’s not a dream.”</p><p>Rhett moves to hug him, holding onto him, and Link remains still for a second before he wraps his arms around Rhett and hugs him back. His jacket feels cool against Rhett’s bare chest. It’s tactile and it makes the moment feel real. But the darkness is confusing.</p><p>He’s holding onto Link, he knows Link’s smell, and he knows Link’s body. Link’s breath feels warm on him, Link’s arms feel strong around him.</p><p>But Rhett is still not entirely sure whether or not he’s dreaming.</p><p>“It’s too dark, Link, I need to see you,” Rhett whispers, feeling desperate about it. “I need to know you’re really here.”</p><p>“I’m here,” Link whispers back and he takes Rhett’s hand and guides him down the hall to the bedroom. Link knows the way, doesn’t stumble, and Rhett follows him blindly.</p><p>There’s a pause as Link turns the lamp on low, and Rhett is finally able to see him.</p><p><i>Link</i>. It’s Link. <i>His Link</i>. He looks the same. Maybe a little tired, a little rumpled. But he’s beautiful.</p><p>“Link, I’m sorry. I'm so sorry.” The words rush out of him like he needs to spit them out before he misses his chance.</p><p>But if Link accepts his apology he doesn’t say so, he just gestures to the bed.</p><p>“Sit, I wanna talk.”</p><p>Rhett sits immediately, certain he’ll do anything Link asks as long as it keeps him there.</p><p>Link toes off his shoes and tosses his jacket on the chair, and then takes a seat next to Rhett on the bed. </p><p>He lets out a long sigh before he speaks.</p><p>“God, Rhett, listen.. I’m mad at you.” Link glances over at him for a second and then looks down at his hands. “Or, I was.. it’s.. less now.”</p><p>Rhett just listens. Too scared to say anything else. Afraid he’ll ruin it.</p><p>“I tried to stay away,” Link continues, “and I just can’t. I feel like I’m supposed to be here. With you.”</p><p>Rhett reaches his hand out, tentatively, wanting Link to take it. And a glimmer of hope wells in his chest when Link does.</p><p>“I can’t sleep. I just want to be here with you. Like I feel better when I’m with you. I feel settled here, and peaceful.. and safe. Like this is where I’m supposed to be.”</p><p>Rhett can only nod as Link keeps talking.</p><p>“I’ve never felt that way in my life. I felt like I couldn’t go another night not seeing you. And I wasn’t sleeping anyway, so I drove here.”</p><p>“What time is it?” Rhett asks, realising he has no idea.</p><p>“It’s almost three.” There’s a reluctant smile on his face and Rhett smiles back at him.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re here.”</p><p>“Me too,” Link replies, but a moment later his smile fades. “But Rhett, I hate that you didn’t tell me about your dreams.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“I felt this connection to you and I was going nuts over it and you didn’t bother to tell me?”</p><p>“But if I’d told you that first day?” Rhett says weakly. “You would’a thought I was nuts. You would’a run out the door and never come back.”</p><p>“You don’t know that.”</p><p>“Link.”</p><p>“You don’t know how I was feeling then,” Link stresses, “and how badly I just wanted to be with you.”</p><p>“But I– ”</p><p>“And even after the first day, you could’ve told me at any point but you didn’t. You say you’ve known me your whole life and you thought I’d just run out??”</p><p>Rhett has no fight in him. He doesn’t want to argue and he knows that Link is right.</p><p>“You’re right.. I didn’t know.. Man, I was just so scared. I lost you once and I was scared you’d leave. I’m sorry. Fuck, Link, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“You lost me?”</p><p>“In the dreams..” Rhett swirls his hand beside his head, gesturing to his temple, “near the end. You disappeared. And that’s when I found you in the hallway.”</p><p>“What?” Link just stares at him.</p><p>“<i>I know</i>,” Rhett says quietly. “This is why I kept it from you. It sounds crazy.”</p><p>“Rhett,” Link sighs, “it’s not crazy. It’s.. I don’t know.. I don’t know what it is, I just know I feel something when I’m with you that I can’t explain.”</p><p>Link looks at him for a moment and Rhett can see a smirk playing on his mouth. “Like, Rhett, I handed my phone over to you a couple minutes after we introduced ourselves and then I just walked away!”</p><p>Rhett smiles back at him. “You did.”</p><p>“I don’t give my phone to anyone! But I trusted you, without even thinking about it. It felt like I’d known you forever.”</p><p>“That’s how I feel too.”</p><p>Link nods. “And after that, I just wanted to text you and talk to you. I didn’t even know you!”</p><p>“Link, I know– ”</p><p>“And that day I made you coffee.. I just made it the way you took it, like I’d made it for you a million times.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Rhett, I love you,” Link says quietly, “and I feel like I’m supposed to be with you.. But I hate that you lied to me.”</p><p>“I didn’t want to,” Rhett replies earnestly, “Link, I swear. I felt so bad about it. I just didn’t want to scare you off. I didn’t wanna lose you.”</p><p>“I know, I get it now.” Link holds Rhett’s hand in both of his, turning it over and examining Rhett’s palm before looking up to meet his gaze. “But Rhett, if there’s anything else you have to tell me now. I don’t want you lying to me like that again. I won’t forgive it next time.”</p><p>“There’s nothing else,” Rhett says, “that’s it.”</p><p>But there’s hesitation in his voice and Link knows there’s something more.</p><p>“What? Rhett, tell me.”</p><p>“Sometimes I wonder if I’m still dreaming.” He’s almost breaking as he says it. It’s something he’s never told anyone. “Even right now, I’m not sure..”</p><p>Link looks broken for him. “Rhett..” </p><p>“I worry that I’m stuck in a dream and I can’t wake up. I keep thinking that that’s why you’re here and I’ll eventually wake up and you won’t be here anymore.”</p><p>“You’re not in a dream,” Link explains, holding his gaze, “because that would make my whole life a dream and that’s not what’s happening. I’m a real person, Rhett. You’re a real person. Right here. You’re awake.”</p><p>“I know.. I just..” Rhett taps the side of his head, “You’ve been in here my whole life and now that you’re here <i>in real life</i> I’m scared.. I’m terrified that one day you won’t be.”</p><p>“Rhett, you have to stop thinking that way.”</p><p>“When you were gone and you weren’t answering.. I tried to find you again. I tried to dream and find you, but I couldn’t. And I know that’s stupid, but it’s what I did. Even tonight, that’s what I was doing when you woke me up. I was trying to find you.”</p><p>“Rhett, we’re real. We’re here. It’s not a dream, I promise you.” Link shifts his position, turning to face Rhett completely, holding both of Rhett’s hands in his. “But you have to understand.. I’m a real person. You might’ve known me all those years, but I didn’t know you. I mean, even though I feel like I know you.. and there’s stuff I know that I’m not sure <i>how</i> I know.. there’s still stuff I don’t know.. and you gotta tell me and show me. And you can’t be lying to me.”</p><p>Rhett holds Link’s hands tightly. “I know, Link.. I do. I know you’re real. And I know you’re not him. Some stuff was different, and I love the things that make you different from him–”</p><p>“What was different?”</p><p>Rhett shrugs. “Just different details, different places. Things you do that he didn’t, things he did that you don’t do. It was you, but not exactly you.”</p><p>“And you were there too?”</p><p>“Yeah, we were always together.”</p><p>“Where did we live?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Rhett admits. “It was a place I’ve never been to. I don’t even know if it’s a real place or if I made it up. There was a river–”</p><p>“Could you see yourself?”</p><p>“No..” Rhett thinks about it, trying to recall exactly how he saw the dreams. “It was like I was seeing through my own eyes, like I’m seeing you now.”</p><p>Link furrows his brow. “But if I wasn’t exactly me, how do you know you were <i>you</i>? Like <i>this you</i>?”</p><p>Rhett pauses. He’d never considered that. His town was different. His school was different. His house was different. They did things he’s never done while awake. Went places he’s never been.</p><p>“I–  I don’t know. I don’t know for sure if it was me. It just felt like me. And it felt like you.”</p><p>Link’s just looking at him, so he continues rambling.</p><p>“But Link, I don’t even dream about that stuff anymore. The dreams stopped as soon as I met you. And I don’t think they’re coming back.”</p><p>“Do you want them to?”</p><p>“<i>No</i>,” Rhett says quickly. “I mean, I loved dreaming about you, but I want <i>this</i>, I want <i>you</i>. Here. You and me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”</p><p>“I want that too.”</p><p>Rhett smiles hopefully and gives him a pleading look. “Please don’t leave again.”</p><p>“I don’t plan to.” Link smiles back at him, “I mean, I found this guy who says he dreamt about me his whole life and doesn’t want me to leave, pretty sure I’d be an idiot to just walk away.”</p><p>“Not an idiot,” Rhett says quietly, “but maybe a little crazy.”</p><p>“Dude, you’re calling me crazy? You’re the one with the dreams.”</p><p>Rhett laughs. “I had the dreams, but how did you end up in my building? In my hallway? Almost next door?? That’s.. I mean, that’s crazy, right?”</p><p>“It is pretty wild.”</p><p>“But– I mean maybe–  maybe it’s a sign, Link,” Rhett says quietly, “maybe that’s what all this means. We were supposed to find each other, like we were supposed to be together.”</p><p>“Maybe.” Link grins as he says it, and they just look at each other for a long time.</p><p>It feels true.</p><p>They were supposed to find each other. They’re supposed to be together.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually they’re both yawning and Link can hardly keep his eyes open. </p><p>“I’m tired,” he says, pulling off his shirt and moving farther up the bed. “Lie down with me.”</p><p>Rhett follows, shifting on the bed until they’re lying down together, just holding onto each other.</p><p>Rhett nuzzles into Link’s neck, speaking softly against his skin, “I really missed you.”</p><p>“I know..” Link sighs, “god, Rhett, I missed you too. You have no idea.”</p><p>“I probably do,” Rhett says, and he can feel Link nod above him. “And I was so scared, man. I thought you weren’t comin’ back. I thought I’d lost you.”</p><p>“You didn’t lose me.” Link’s arms tighten around him. “I’m right here. I’m not leaving.”</p><p>A sense of relief washes over Rhett, and he sighs, “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” Link dips his head down and speaks softly against his ear, “you dummy.”</p><p>Rhett just smiles blissfully and tilts his head up to kiss him for awhile.</p><p> </p><p>They’re both tired, but neither one wants to sleep. It’s if they both just want to stay up, kissing and talking and being together.</p><p>It’s just after four in the morning when Link turns his thoughts back to Rhett’s dreams.</p><p>“So tell me more about these dreams. Did I look like myself?”</p><p>“Almost exactly.”</p><p>“What age though? Like, this age?”</p><p>“No, like, every age,” Rhett says, and Link gives him a look like he doesn’t quite believe it.</p><p>“I’m serious,” Rhett continues, “we were kids and teenagers and then adults, like we are now.”</p><p>Link’s brow furrows as he ponders the idea.</p><p>“But.. how do I know?” he asks. “I mean, I wanna believe it but it’s so out there.. If it was really me, or almost me, tell me something you’d only know from those dreams, something I haven’t told you.”</p><p>“I knew you hated tomatoes.”</p><p>“Okay.. but a lot of people hate tomatoes. What else?”</p><p>"I knew you played the trumpet,” Rhett says, “and the mouth trumpet.”</p><p>“I wondered!” Link laughs, “Man, that blew me away.. What else?”</p><p>Rhett is suddenly scrambling for any facts he knows, hoping some of them are true outside of the dreams.</p><p>“You were scared of the dark until you were twelve.”</p><p>Link half nods, like maybe it’s close to something true.</p><p>“You never got a whoopin’.”</p><p>“That’s true, but you’ve met my mom so that could just be an educated guess.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Link grins at him. “Because she’s so nice.”</p><p>“Okay,” Rhett laughs, “good point.”</p><p>Rhett thinks back, trying to remember events and little details, anything that might pertain specifically to Link and his life experiences.</p><p>“You didn’t get glasses until you were in your twenties.”</p><p>“True..”</p><p>“You taught yourself how to kiss on your shower wall.”</p><p>“What??”</p><p>“Didn’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Link laughs. “But I’ve never told anyone that.”</p><p>Rhett grins. “Well you told me.”</p><p>Link just smiles back at him. “Shut up.. What else?”</p><p>“You had a stepdad who left when you were about thirteen.”</p><p>“Close, I was eleven.”</p><p>Rhett rhymes off a few other facts. Some of them stick and some of them don’t, but it seems to be enough to ease Link’s mind a little</p><p>“Man, I can’t believe you know about the shower wall..”</p><p>“Are you embarrassed?” Rhett laughs, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Link. “Don’t be embarrassed.. I learned on my hand.”</p><p>“You did?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Show me.”</p><p>Rhett brings his fist up to his mouth, but then thinks better of it and reaches for Link’s hand instead. He folds Link’s fingers in, making a fist, and then brings Link’s fist to his mouth and kisses the little hole on the side between his index finger and thumb.</p><p>“You did it like that?” Link asks.</p><p>“Yeah,” Rhett replies, “then I did a little of this..”</p><p>He licks into the hole, softly at first, and then a little more, wetly, tonguing Link’s hand hole.</p><p>“Oh fuck..” Link sighs, “Rhett, that’s really hot.”</p><p>Rhett chuckles against his hand. “You should show me what you learned from kissin’ that wall.”</p><p>Link laughs and rears up suddenly. He pushes Rhett onto his back, swinging a leg over him and pining him down.</p><p>“Ohh,” Link says quietly, giving a slow roll of his hips, “I’ll show you.”</p><p>Rhett grins as Link leans down to kiss him.</p>
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  <p>
    <span class="u">EPILOGUE</span>
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</div>He’s started therapy. They both agreed it would be good for Rhett to talk to someone about his dreams and his fear of losing Link. It’s helping.<p>And he’s started to dream about Link again. <i>Real</i> Link this time. Just normal dreams you have about your partner. But for Rhett it’s still hard to decipher the dream world from the real world, and sometimes he wakes up and checks that Link is still there.</p><p>It’s a hard habit to break.</p><p>But Link knows now and just sleepily reassures him, “I’m here, Rhett. You found me. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”</p><p>And Link kisses him and settles in against his side.</p><p>And Rhett sleeps.</p>
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